radicalducati 2.2
2.2
Lucas’s POV
I drive back home and my mind goes back to that moment at the hospital with Alex, a month ago:
“What the fuck did I say that is so funny Lucas?” Alex asked in annoyance as I continued to laugh quite too loudly in a hospital.
I was clutching my stomach from how painful my abs were making me feel and my eyes watered at his joke.
“I’m Serious!” he said in a hard tone that stopped my laughter in the middle of it.
I stared at him with a stunned expression, trying to make sense of what he just told me.
“No fucking way you are!” I screamed the words at him.
“Why?” he asked curiously.
I raised both my eyebrows at him in disbelief “You’re seriously asking me why? Okay. You are obviously tripping now I’m certain of it. I think we should call the nurse to stop some of those drugs because they are clearly destroying your healthy brain cells. Careful brother, I’m the only one with the crazy genes here, I don’t want you stealing my spot light” I said sarcastically, trying to calm the dread that was slowly taking over me from his earlier words to me.
He narrowed his eyes at me and said dryly “I’m not high Lucas! I’m quite serious, this is the only way to end this. I need to die in that attack so you will have to step up for leadership. I need the time to find what you and David couldn’t and the only way to do that is if Zade believes that there is no one digging behind him”
“Let’s swap places then! I die and you stay here with Jenny! I’m perfect in getting information from people and I will be totally discreet I promise, Zade will never see us coming” I said excitedly.
“It won’t make sense. Jenny and I were the only ones standing outside when the shooting started and he was aware of that, I was the target, and my death will be more believable. Besides, with me dead, Zade will not consider you much of a threat. I’m sure he gathered information on all of us and he knows you won’t be as good as me, he will think you won’t be able to protect the town like me and dad, and he will slip up soon enough” said Alex rationally.
I smirked at him “So when you said ‘perfect for the job’ it wasn’t really a compliment. You do know I would suck as a leader and you are depending on that! Not hurtful nor offending at all, thank you”
Even though I kept my tone light, it still hurt. Knowing that I will never be capable of taking care of the clan because I wasn’t like them, and hearing Alex acknowledge that out loud made it sting even more. I never wanted to be a leader in the first place. And for very obvious reasons.
Because it would put me in a position where I have to be this sane, responsible man that I never wanted to be.
Alex pursed his lips at me and said more softly “I said he will ‘think’ you won’t be capable of taking care of the clan, not that you can’t. I have full belief that you are going to be a perfect leader Lucas. You only have to cut down on the craziness and the impulsiveness a few notches and you will be okay”
“You mean become like you, boring and lame” I said dryly, not liking how this conversation was becoming more real and serious by the passing seconds.
“If it will keep everyone alive and safe, won’t you do it? Won’t you do whatever you can to keep the town that dad was killed trying to protect, safe from that man and his drugs? The town that dad entrusted us with and made sure to raise us with all the skills and knowledge to be able to carry on after him?” he asked emotionally.
He was playing a dangerous game trying to convince me like this, and it was slowly working. For dad, to avenge him, to protect my town, I’ll do anything, even if that means becoming someone other than me. Even if that means accepting a huge burden and responsibility that I never thought or even dreamed I would handle at all. I was quite sure that by the time Alex and Jacob’s turns were up for leadership I would be long dead before the turn could come to me. Living the risky life I had no problems living, I was certain it will lead to an early death, and not only have I accepted that, I didn’t even mind it.
Wait a damn minute!
“Jacob! He is the rightful leader after you. We should call him and have him take your place!” I said loudly.
“Jacob doesn’t want anything to do with our work and you know that. He hated this part of our lives and he would never agree to come back and lead it” said Alex arguably.
“So I have to step up but it’s okay and forgivable if he doesn’t! that’s bullshit man!” I complained angrily.
Alex rolled his eyes at me and said in a hard tone; probably tired of me trying whatever I can to skip out on the leadership “I can’t force him to live a life he doesn’t care about living in! but you believe in this life just like I do Lucas! That’s why it’s you and not him. Because at the end of the line, you will do whatever you can to protect this town, even if it comes down to protecting it with blood, which is something he will never do. I believe in you Lucas, you can do this”
I stared at him hard for the longest time before I said anything.
“I won’t be the leader forever right? You’re coming back to claim it again, you won’t dump it on me and bail like your brother did, right? Because if that’s not the case, you might as well put a tombstone in my name as well, I don’t do sanity and responsibility for a long time brother, it’s not good for my health” I said vulnerably.
Alex chuckled at me as he said lightly “It’s not forever I promise. I will set you free once we kill Zade, you have my word. But until that day comes, you have to promise me in return that you will keep yourself out of trouble and try to act more like me than you, alright?”
I raised both my hands up and said playfully “Woah, that’s a promise I can’t make big brother! The best I can give you is, I’ll do my fucking best to keep my wild side in manageable levels. Take it or leave it”
He raised his right palm and said in relief “I can work with that, I’ll take it”
I clapped his open palm with my own and held his hand firmly as I said seriously “Don’t stay dead for long bro, and don’t you dare die on me for real or I will haunt your ass in hell”
My mind comes back to the current moment as I park the SUV in front of the yard of our two story house.
For the past two months, ever since dad died, walking inside that house felt strange. It was never the same after he died. We all changed. Our spirits, became a little crushed and broken over his unbearable loss. But when we barely managed to mend our broken hearts over his tragedy, another one struck soon after. Even though this tragedy wasn’t as strong as the first one; considering the people in this house are the only ones who know that that tragedy was half faked in front of the town people, it was still a tragedy to us nonetheless.
Even though they didn’t really die, they were still living far away from us. On a dangerous mission that we weren’t sure of it’s outcome.
Entering this house after they left, after their faked funeral that the town people attended, made me feel like I truly lost them.
No one smiled anymore in this house.
No one laughed.
No one joked.
No one even made dessert.
We lived together, me, mom, April, David, Sara, and Mathew, but we couldn’t be more estranged after that shooting.
Mom was always crying.
April was always locked in her room, except the few times David tries to lift up her spirit and takes her out for a walk around the house. I think these two have something going on but they weren’t telling us about it yet.
David, who turned out to be not our real blood relative, was still like a brother to me. After many hard encounters over the past two months after we officially met, he became part of the family, and he was loved by everyone now, maybe loved too much by my sister especially, but Let’s not rush into assumptions until we see something solid between them.
It was barely seven thirty in the morning.
I couldn’t sleep again last night, and that’s how I ended up at the graveyard before the break of dawn until now.
Snow was finally covered with snow. The whiteness that covered the whole ground, made my heart ache. It was my favorite time of the year, but not this year though. It lacked so many things this time, that it lost its meaning and appeal to me.
I was crossing the front yard, about to walk through the kitchen’s back door because I was starving for some breakfast, when my phone rang in my pocket.
I stopped right outside the door, took out the phone, and answered it right away when I saw my brother’s name as the caller’s ID.
Not in the mood to strike a conversation at all, I cut right to the chase “Tell me you have something useful please” I said in a serious tone.
It took him a few seconds to speak and I swear it was like one of those body swap moments where we were in each other’s bodies; which pissed me off more than I already was.
“Good morning to you too, bro” he said in a bright tone. Too bright for the dark mood I was in, and have been in since he left me here in this situation.
“I’m not in the mood Alex. If you want to chit chat, call mom or April” I said dryly.
I heard a sigh on the other end and then his voice was back to serious again, just the Alex I missed and couldn’t wait to hug again “I have news for you. I finally figured out what Zade wants with our borders and Stefan was right. It wasn’t about drugs”
“What then?” I asked as I clutched the phone tighter, anticipation for the new information slowly killing my sour mood and bringing me to life again.
“A women named Angelina. They’re smuggling her across the border… tomorrow” said Alex firmly.
Little did I know then, my reason for coming back to life, for bringing some color back into it, for making my heart feel something I thought I would never be capable of feeling anymore after the multiple losses, was going to be this mysterious woman.
Angelina.