radicalducati 42
42
Jenny’s POV
Megan, April, and I sit in the living room as we chat and talk about different things.
It was very nice having Megan over and having a good time again after a very long period of hurt and sadness.
Diana joins us at one point as she introduces herself to Megan and sits with us for a while before excusing herself to go help Sara with lunch.
She invited Megan to stay for lunch but Megan promised her to stay another time.
Even Lucas made a small appearance when he noticed an unfamiliar guest in the living room.
I introduced them to each other and I noticed how Lucas was checking her out and Megan did not like that action one bit as she pursed her lips and practically glared at him until he looked away.
Suffice it to say he was too nervous to sit with us as Megan made it clear that he wasn’t welcomed to, so he left briefly after the introduction.
“April seems really nice, I’m glad you have each other in this house. Things must get boring in here and having a sister in law to share things with is quite great” she said as we headed out of the house; just the two of us, and walked towards where her car was parked.
We leaned against the hood of her car as I teased her “Are you jealous that I might replace you with her when you leave for college in a few weeks?”
She pouted “Maybe…. Damn yes! I don’t want you to think that just because I’m going away that I will stop being your best friend and find myself another girl to share all my thoughts with”
Her words gave me so much joy, because that was exactly what I was afraid of.
“You will always be more than just my best friend, you’re my sister, and sisters don’t suddenly stop being close just because one of them is moving away” I said softly.
“Awww you’re going to make me cry now… sis” she said tearfully.
I chuckled at how emotional she became and hugged her tightly.
We break the hug and she looks at me deeply as concern fills her features “So tell me…. How is Alex treating you, is he still being a dick?”
I smile at her bold choice of words.
“No actually, ever since I fell sick, I woke up and found a completely different version of him. He’s being nice all the time, and apologized for the first couple of days I spent here. I even ended up telling him all about my father and how my life had been like in that house. He took it quite differently than I expected. He felt so guilty for trapping me with him unintentionally” I said softly.
“Well he should. So, is he thinking about making up for ruining your life again by setting you free anytime soon?” she asked pointedly.
“He can’t Megan. The peace treaty will break if I leave” I said firmly.
“You promised your mother you’d follow her soon. Let me guess… it was just to get her to leave wasn’t it?” she asked tensely.
Sadness fills my face as I answer her “Yes, kind of. I mean before Alex changed I was really thinking about skipping out on him if I ever got the chance, but now…. Now I’m getting more and more involved with his family, and I found myself incapable of putting them in harm’s way by escaping”
“Involved with them, or with him?” she asked meaningfully.
I felt my face blush at her insinuation.
“Both?” I admit sheepishly.
Her eyes widen and her mouth falls open “Something happened between you…. Spill it!”
How she knew that just from looking at my face was beyond me.
“He…. Kissed me this morning” I whispered while a burning heat was settling on my cheeks.
Her eyebrows went up and she exclaimed “Wow! I wasn’t expecting you two to go from hating each other to sucking face in just a few days, what happened then?”
I grimaced at her word painting.
Yeah, you and me both sis.
“Exactly! it didn’t make any sense to me you know? I mean if I possibly, maybe, had just a tiny little small crush on him it would be justified because I wasn’t engaged to be married up until two weeks ago, but what the hell was he thinking when he kissed me? It freaked me out so much Megan. I pulled away after that and hid in the bathroom like a coward instead of confronting him about it. It’s screwing with my head so much, he’s screwing with my head” I vent up.
“So we’re thinking the kiss was for what exactly? I mean what was his motive?” she asked quizzically.
“I have no idea. Maybe he sees me as a mere distraction, or an opportunity because well.. I am legally his wife, why not take advantage right? But he did not come across as that type of guy you know? I don’t want to jump into wrong conclusions here but I’m finding it damn near impossible to believe that he feels something for me so soon after he got left by the love of his life. How fast can someone move on and develop new feelings so quick after a break up?” I asked in frustration.
“Yeah, you make a valid point, on both sides. I can see why you’re confused as hell. I think you should talk to him about it. Just be honest and open so that everything is clear and there is no room for assumptions. You can decide what do from there. Tell me…. Was it good, the kiss?” she asked curiously with a little smirk.
I smiled shyly “It was….exquisitely… entrancing”
Megan burst out laughing and I found myself joining her as I realized how that came out so out of character for me to say.
After sometime we settled down and I found my joy being replaced with the reality of the decision I made during my shower.
“I don’t want to confront him and know how he really feels…. I’m afraid to end up falling in love with him then end up realizing it was the biggest mistake of my life. What if he admits to feeling something then realizes it was a mistake? What if I get so attached to him only for him to end up dead like his father? You know I look at Diana and she seems fine but I know deep down she’s very heartbroken and crushed. She’s just trying to put on a brave face for her family but I know she is suffering. I don’t want to end up the same. Even if that means I never get to fall in love, then so be it. I feel it within me, this thing will end in a tragedy and I don’t want any part of it. Even if it means resisting the pull I feel towards him, especially after the kiss” I speak emotionally.
“What thing are you referring to? That will end in a tragedy? The love part or the danger part?” she asked perplexedly.
“Either…. Or both” I said solemnly.
She nodded her head but remained quiet as she gave it a little thought.
“If I were you, I’d talk to him. Tell him exactly what I’m thinking, ask him about what he’s thinking, and then go from there. Falling in love is not the problem, Jenny. Especially if it is two sided. Even if something happens to him; god forbid of course, you would regret not giving yourself and him a chance to experience something true and heartfelt that not many people get to experience. That’s what you will end up regretting actually. Because a true love is not as common as you may think, you can’t always find the person you can have all those feelings for” she said logically.
“I totally disagree with you. If I fall hopelessly in love with him, if… I get to experience all those things you’re referring to, and something happens to break us apart, It will hurt a thousand times worse than if I never experienced any of it, because then I will be haunted by the memories we created and the emotions I can never relive again with him and that will suck the most. I’d rather skip all that drama and heartache altogether. I’ve had enough of that to last me forever I don’t want to feel anything like it again”
She tilted her head at me and said softly “Both of us make a good point, however I believe the heart wants what the heart wants. You can keep denying it and fighting it, but the harder you try, the more your heart will fight back harder to claim what it needs, just saying, if I were you I’d follow my heart and tell my mind to kiss my ass. Anyways I have to go now. But I’ll come back to catch on the updates. See ya”
She kisses me on both cheeks and gets in her car.
As I watch her drive away, my mind relays the last thing she said to me about going with my heart.
What if my heart is blind and cannot see what it was actually getting me involved into? Should I still follow it?