My Alpha's Mark

202 All I have

Kacie

“I’ve failed. I failed and lost him,” Viktor said.

The weight on his shoulders was large enough to make anyone crumble beneath it. Still, my mate stood firm. My heart broke for the mate we’d lost, but it soared knowing that he was safe. Instead of keeping my thoughts to myself I would make sure he knew. I would make sure he knew every day how much I loved him, how much I needed him in my life. I would make sure he knew how loved he was, but first, he needed to face Jake. He needed to come to grips with it as I have. He needs to make peace with it, so he can move forward. We both needed this.

“Come here,” I said.

I watched as he mentally drew back, away from me as if he would hurt me. As if he thought he’d lose me too if he touched me. I reached for him, my outstretched hand open in offering for him to take it. He had to take it. Viktor stared at my hand for a moment before his eyes darted to Jake on the ground between us. Desperation clear in his eyes when he looked back at me. He took my hand and I brought his over to Jake. He watched my hand as I laid it on Jake’s cheek. He let out a breath at the contact and his shoulders shook.

I released his hand and our tears blended in with the rain. Grunts, footsteps, cries filled the air as our people picked themselves up. Those that could at least. The dead would have to be buried and our pack would need time to mourn. I don’t know how long we sat there, minutes, hours maybe beneath the clouds.

We mourned our mate and we cried until Clara got to her feet. She wasn’t apart of our relationship but I didn’t hold any hate towards her for grieving. There was no room for petty jealousy here. Not today. She walked over to Nyx and I watched as they held hands. Tears stained their cheeks, their hair drenched from the rain, blood washed from their bodies but couldn’t wash away their pain. Viktor leaned down until his lips pressed against Jake’s forehead. When he straightened, he looked at me.

“I don’t know how to do life without him,” Viktor said honestly.

“I don’t either. What we’ve had has been amazing,” I breathed.

“It has,” he whispered. “It’s been the best I’ve ever had. I couldn’t dream… I couldn’t wish for anything more.”

“We’ll never be able to get over losing him. I’m not even going to pretend that we’ll ever get over him. Not now, maybe not in the month, or next year. That’s not how life works, but I do think that one day it’ll get easier. I hope,” I said.

“You’re all I have left in the world,” Viktor murmured.

“No, I’m not,” I said.

My hand lowered until it came to a rest on my stomach. His eyes followed the movement and his eyes watered. His brows scrunched together and his jaw flexed as he nodded. He swallowed audibly. I tried and failed to give him a lighthearted smile.

“Is it okay?” He asked, his voice shaky. I nodded.

“I was punched earlier so I’ll need a check up, but… I think it’s okay,” I answered. “We’ve lost Jake, but while he was alive we’d agreed to try again. Knowing that he didn’t die not knowing we loved him… is enough for me to hold onto right now. It has to be. You have me and we have our child. Don’t forget the pack that counts on you too. You aren’t alone,” I murmured.

“You’re right….” Viktor whispered.

“I am,” I teased halfheartedly.

“Thanks for keeping your promise. Thanks for staying safe,” Viktor murmured. I nodded and we both looked at Jake.

“He kept me safe… in his last moments… he tried,” I choked.

I doubt that we’ll ever be the same again, but we would make it through this. We would make it through the hardships that came our way. All Jake wanted was for us to live, to love, and to be safe. I wouldn’t let him down. I wouldn’t… I wouldn’t throw my life away and I wouldn’t give in to the flames that promised a reprieve from the pain. When I could trust myself to talk again, I took a deep breath and looked into Viktor’s eyes.

“There’s a hole in both of our hearts, My King. I don’t know if we’ll ever be the same again. As much as i want to make the world feel the pain I fell… I have you. I have this child. Our child. I’m not alone in this world. I have you. Don’t shoulder the burden of life alone, don’t keep your pain to yourself. Lean on me as I lean on you. We’ll always be missing him, but in those minutes, hours, days, years that I miss Jake I’ll have to share that pain. I’ll have you to miss him with me. I’ll have you as you’ll have me,” I cried. I meant every word. I just hoped that he knew it.

Viktor stares at me with un-shed tears in his eyes. He leans over and pulls Jake into his arms. When he leans back I watch as he gets to his feet and picks up Jake. Jake looks small in his arms, his head lolls and falls back on Viktor’s bicep. I get to my feet and grasp Jake’s hand. Clara and Nyx follow us as we head off the battlefield.

I don’t know what we’ll face tomorrow or the day after that, but I know that as long as I have Viktor by my side, I knew that I could face each day head on. I held Jake’s hand tightly as I followed Viktor. We left the carnage and the destruction the elders had caused behind us.