The Space Empress He Craved

Chapter 35

POV: Lyra

Orion's eyes narrowed. "Seriously, star-heart? That was it?"

My eyes shot up at his response in surprise. Through our neural link, I felt his distress—my black, multifaceted eyes were already glistening with moisture. He took my hands firmly. "Star-heart, you're scaring me. Talk to me. Is that all? Or is there more? I'm listening even if you have a list. We can go through the whole thing tonight or until tomorrow if necessary."

He's... not angry? He's not going to forbid it?

I was already considering being his Empress. That was progress—dangerous progress. But he wasn't going to ruin it, I could feel that through our link.

I blinked several times, pulling myself from shock. "Uh... I don't know if there's more yet, but continuing to fight with them is my main concern right now."

Orion's eyebrows furrowed, his pathways flashing with annoyance. "Why would you have to give that up? That's a large part of who you are. Who even gave you this idea?"

My eyes widened in fear—oh void, he's going to punish whoever said it—until Orion squeezed my hands gently, reassuringly. "No, Lyra. No one's getting hurt. I just want to know how this idea got into your head."

Uneasily, I said, "Um, well... most of the Kaelari have already been discussing me no longer fighting with them once I... if I... become Empress."

"What?! Why would they think that?" Dismay radiated through his pathways.

I bit my lip before explaining. "Because we've never heard of a Lyrokan Empress being on a battlefield."

His response came fast, pathways pulsing with frustration. "So what?! Can't you be the first? You're already the first Kaelari to bridge our species and get station commanders to open up to us; the first Combat Specialist to neutralize supposedly unbeatable Fleet Commanders; the first to suggest offering combat training to other stations; the first Kaelari to take on a Rogue Lyrokan..."

"I'm not sure the last one's a good thing," I thought aloud.

"Star-heart, you get the point." He ran his fingers through his hair, sighing in frustration as he stared at the wall. His mutter was barely audible: "Cosmos, our Lyrokan ancestors must have void-fucked [messed up terribly] for Kaelari to think we'd take everything from them, even their best warrior."

There's more. I have to tell him the worst part.

I bit my bottom lip harder. Orion noticed immediately. "Something's still bothering you. Tell me. What is it?"

Guilt flooded my voice when I began. "I thought I would have to give it up and... I was so certain I didn't want to give up... that part of my existence t-that... I was... that I almost severed the psychic bond. I am so sorry."

The words broke something in me. Tears escaped, and I sobbed into my hands.

I almost threw him away. Without even asking. Just like I accused him of being—selfish, assuming, not communicating.

"Oh, star-heart." He pulled me against his chest, letting his bio-suit absorb my tears. His lips pressed to my forehead. "I wouldn't have blamed you if you did. I would have deserved it. No one can ask you to give up who you are, Lyra. Not even me." Another kiss to my forehead. "Thank you for talking to me first."

Between sobs, I managed, "I wa—wasn't going to b—but... Juan... Tate... and Toby... stopped me from... r-rejecting... you... I'm sorry... I'm so... so sorry."

"No, Lyra. Don't apologize. There's nothing to be sorry about. It's okay. Shh... it's okay." His voice was soothing as he stroked my hair, his pathways pulsing with pain—not for himself, but for me.

Through our link, I felt his thoughts bleeding through: he wasn't hurt about the near-rejection. He was hurt because I was crying, because I'd held this fear inside while he slept beside me, oblivious.

'Universe, I already know I don't deserve her. But must you make it so obvious? I would've felt better if she'd asked before I slept. Now I just feel utterly useless that I let my match carry all of that while I was happily sleeping beside her.'

His thoughts leaked through our connection, making me cry harder.

"It's okay. Shh... it's okay." He kept cooing into my ear, kissing my forehead periodically. After several minutes, my sobbing finally lessened. My breathing steadied. But Orion wasn't taking chances—he continued rubbing circles on my back, kissing my forehead, his pathways desperately trying to soothe mine.

When I finally stopped, my voice came out hoarse. "Why aren't you angry with me?"

"How can I be angry at you for choosing to keep doing what you love? And what you love isn't even negative. It's the most selfless and noble thing to love. If I were angry at you, you should reject me. No one in their right consciousness would blame you."

My voice dropped to a whisper. "I should have talked to you first, instead of assuming you wouldn't allow it."

His lips found my forehead again. "That's exactly what you just did, Lyra. I understand you were asked to wait, but the fact that you listened to them and actually talked to me about it is already enough."

After quiet moments, I whispered, "Thank you, for understanding." My fingers traced across his chest gently, like I had before. But this time, instead of arousal, his pathways pulsed with relief. Then I pressed my lips to his jaw.

Now his pathways blazed with desire.

Oh. That changed quickly.

Orion's hand found my face, cupping my cheek. His thumb caressed slowly, gently. Despite my tear-stained face, heat still flooded my cheeks, my skin probably shifting to that embarrassing pink. His eyes fixed on my lips with unmistakable yearning, his pulse accelerating through our link.

He closed the distance. When his lips touched mine, his eyes closed, savoring the contact. When my lips began responding—when did I decide to do that?—Orion deepened the kiss. Between his efforts, my lips parted slightly, releasing a soft moan.

Did I just—? Oh void, that's embarrassing.

Apparently losing control, his tongue entered my mouth, exploring. His hand supported the back of my head as his tongue plunged deeper, reaching toward my throat. My hands moved from his chest to his neck, then to his hair, my fingers clutching the soft strands with each brush of our lips, making him growl in approval.

This is too much, too fast, but... it doesn't feel wrong.

When my hands cupped his cheeks and I broke away, we were gasping like we'd just survived decompression. Our eyes fixed on each other's swollen lips.

"Are you okay?" His concerned whisper filled the space between us as he traced my jaw with his thumb.

I smiled and, without words—because what words could explain this?—pressed my lips to his again. Orion froze for a second before his lips and tongue responded. His arousal scent filled the quarters, but I made no move to stop it this time. The neural sparks intensified with each contact. We only separated when I needed oxygen.

When we caught our breath, Orion looked deep into my eyes. "Thank you."

Confusion must have shown on my face. He explained, "For giving us a chance. For giving me a chance. To love you."

Love. He said love. Too soon. Too fast. But...

My heart—or whatever Kaelari had that served that function—melted. Too lost for words, I could only offer a shy smile. He kissed my nose and forehead before guiding my head to lean against his chest, where he held me.

Maybe, just maybe, match number six is different.

But probably not.

Except... he's letting me keep fighting. He's not trying to change me.

Maybe.