The Space Empress He Craved

Chapter 25

POV: Lyra

But I also knew that since we met, I'd been holding back. I'd been cautious with him for fear that my heart couldn't take another rejection. Seeing that he was the Lyrokan Emperor, I was certain, dead certain, that he would reject me for a whole litany of reasons. I wasn't a Lyrokan; I didn't have noble genetics; I wasn't very beautiful even for a Kaelari.

And then there was that mouth of mine which tends to speak whatever I felt and thought, regardless of how it affected the listeners. I didn't care what people thought of me, which was why I dared speak to all three Cummings and to Greg the way I did.

I wouldn't intentionally walk up to a Lyrokan and pick a fight. I wasn't stupid or reckless. But if they brought the fight to me, I wouldn't hesitate to defend myself.

I chuckled darkly as I thought about how the psychic bond had successfully possessed the Emperor, the most powerful being of both species. Oh, cosmic forces. You've really outdone yourself this time, haven't you? I mocked the universe internally. I wasn't as affected, probably because I had enough practice resisting the psychic bond from the five matches before Orion.

My chest felt heavy at the thought of losing him to keep the part of my life I couldn't give up. When I recalled Orion telling me he loved me the night before, I could no longer stop the optical fluid from streaming down my cheeks. I wiped it away hastily and turned my thoughts to Jewel Station. I had to focus on the fight. The whole station was counting on us.

'Lyra, what's wrong?' Juan's mind-touch cut through my thoughts.

I looked in his direction and saw that he and Commander Tate next to him were watching me with concern.

I smiled meekly and linked back, 'It's nothing, Commander Juan. I was just thinking about the specialists that Jewel Station just lost.'

'Nothing else?'

'No.' I lied.

Juan sighed audibly before he and Commander Tate came to sit facing me and Toby. Toby looked a little surprised. But when he glanced at me and saw I was unperturbed, he knew I had something to do with our Commanders' presence.

"Lyra," Commander Juan's tone demanded I look at him. "Talk to us. Tate knows what he saw."

I narrowed my eyes in Commander Tate's direction, and Tate said, "You can't expect us not to ask, Lyra. We're a family. You said it yourself. Like it or not, we're all children of the cosmos. We're siblings."

"Really? You're using my own words against me, Tate?"

Tate shrugged and replied, "I don't know a better way to win an argument against you."

I sighed and assured the Commanders, "It's nothing, I promise. It won't affect the fight."

"Toby," Tate turned to his Combat Specialist and asked sternly, "What happened?"

Before Toby could speak, I said firmly, "Leave him out of this, Tate. It's just me. I just... need to think about what I want to do with the psychic bond."

Juan's eyebrows furrowed, his skin shifting to concerned yellow. "Meaning?"

I glared at him. "You know what I mean. After five rejections, Juan, you know exactly what I mean."

"Does she mean..." Tate suddenly looked alarmed as he took in Juan's reaction. Juan pressed the bridge of his nose before sighing in frustration.

Tate then asked Toby, "Did you have anything to do with this?" The Commander's pathways were already pulsing with anger—Tate was one-quarter Lyrokan, enough to show some bioluminescence when emotional.

Toby opened his mouth but before he managed to say anything, I said firmly, "No, he didn't. Toby only told me what was already circulating among the Kaelari. Nothing more. Leave him out of this."

Tate then said, more gently than he did with Toby, "What has been circulating among us aren't even bad things. Why are you so upset?"

Juan's voice was low when he explained, "Because... she doesn't want to give up her life as a Kaelari warrior." He looked at his childhood friend and closest confidant. My glistening eyes confirmed his suspicions.

He knows me too well. Since we were younglings in the academy, Juan always knew.

My voice was shaky when I whispered, "It's not fair, Juan." I swallowed a sob before adding, "Why would I have to give up... my whole life... to be with him but he gets to keep his whole life... and me if I chose to accept him?"

Juan then squatted in front of me and looked at me seriously. "Lyra, talk to him. See if you can find a middle ground. Don't do anything rash. You seem to like him, and we can all see that he's already deeply in love with you. Don't end this if you don't have to."

I nodded ominously before Juan hugged me. I pushed him back after a few seconds and asked sadly, "What if he just sees me the way he does because of the psychic bond?"

"If you think that's true, you're just being naive. You have five previous matches to compare him with. Which one of them ever looked at you the way the Emperor now looks at you, or treated you the way he's treating you?" Juan questioned without hesitation.

He was right. As far as I could remember, none of them showed me a level of affection that Orion had shown me in the past two days. Not even close.

Sebastian barely looked at me. Marcus treated me like property. Chen saw me as an embarrassment from day one.

I pressed my lips and averted my eyes from Juan before muttering under my breath, "I'm scared. I'm not an Empress."

I'm a mining colony girl who got lucky. Who kills Rogues for a living. Who has skin that betrays every emotion.

Juan then scoffed softly, bringing my attention back to him. "Lyra, I've always told Hale that if I ever had to give someone else in our station my Commander title, it would be you.

You've been a leader long before you want to admit. I was stellar disappointed [very disappointed] when you didn't accept my offer to be my Deputy Commander, but that never stopped us from giving you as much discretion as you were willing to take."

"Combat Specialists are cooler. Why would I want to be a Deputy?" I retorted like a youngling.

Tate chuckled from the side, and Juan smiled at my response. Juan added, "Talk to him, Lyra. He really wants to make this work with you. As much as your past gives you reason to do what you're thinking of doing, bear in mind that the Emperor may be different. We can all see that. You need to see it too, okay?"

I nodded obediently. "Thanks, Juan."

He smiled and ruffled my neural filaments. "Anything for my little sister."

"Hey!" I complained. Now I had to retie my hair as Juan and Tate chuckled. Toby let out an audible sigh of relief when it was all over.

They're right. I know they're right. But knowing something and feeling safe enough to act on it are two different things.

The shuttle's viewport showed Jewel Station growing larger as we approached. The damage was visible even from here—scorch marks on the hull where Rogue ships had attacked. Reality crashed back. Whatever personal crisis I was having would have to wait.

Eleven specialists dead. Four survivors. A station depending on us.

I forced my skin back to neutral silver, pushed down all thoughts of Orion and psychic bonds and impossible choices. Time to be the Commander they needed me to be.

The Rainbow Commander. The mining colony miracle. The warrior who survives everything.

Even if it meant I might have to survive losing him too.