The Alpha Mate

Chapter 73

[POV: Atlas]

My lips still tingled. My breath came too fast, and not just from the cold night air. I walked blindly, stumbling over roots and uneven ground as I fled the clearing where Evan had kissed me. Where I had let him take my first kiss.

Why did I let him? Why hadn't I pulled away? I pressed the back of my hand to my mouth, trying to wipe away the warmth that lingered, the guilt that bloomed sharp and sick in my chest.

It felt like I was betraying myself. Betraying something I hadn't even acknowledged yet. And maybe… even someone else. No. I couldn't even say it. Couldn't let the thought fully form. Not when everything inside me was still in pieces, still fractured by prophecy and fear.

I slowed near a fallen log, placing a trembling hand against the rough bark to steady myself. My legs felt like they were made of smoke, insubstantial and wavering. My heart wouldn't stop racing, wouldn't calm down—not from desire, but from chaos. From the storm of conflicting emotions tearing me apart.

Evan's kiss felt familiar and comforting, safe, even. Like coming home to something I'd known all my life.

But something had been missing. Something fundamental that should have been there. "Hyde?" I whispered into the silence of my own mind, reaching for my wolf desperately. Nothing.

Not a purr, not a flicker of excitement or approval. He hadn't stirred once during the kiss. Hadn't leaned forward or whispered 'yes' in the back of my mind, hadn't urged me on or celebrated the connection.

He'd been silent. Completely, utterly silent. And it hit me all at once—like the cold slapping across my face, like ice water shocking me awake from a dream I didn't want to be having.

Because it wasn't right. Not for him. Not for me. The kiss had been... empty. A shadow of what it should have been, what I'd thought it would be.

I exhaled shakily, the cold air scraping down my throat like glass shards. My fingers curled into fists as I shoved away from the log and turned toward the packhouse, my steps unsteady.

I needed space. I needed to breathe. Just a moment to think, to process— A chill licked up my spine, raising every hair on the back of my neck.

That feeling. That primal, bone-deep sensation of being watched. Of prey sensing a predator nearby. My pulse surged, heart thundering against my ribs so loudly I was certain whoever was there could hear it.

Evan? For a split second, I thought it might be him. That he'd followed me, concerned. He'd noticed the tension, the storm brewing beneath my skin. But no. This wasn't his energy. Evan was warmth, gentle curiosity.

This… this was heat with pressure and dominance. Power barely leashed. And it was familiar in a way that made my entire body respond before my mind could catch up.

I turned—and my breath lodged in my throat, trapped behind my ribs. Draven. He stepped out from the trees like a shadow breaking free of the dark, his body framed by moonlight. Every inch of him radiated restraint on the verge of shattering.

His jaw was set, chest rising and falling, hands clenched at his sides like he didn't trust what they might do.

His eyes locked onto mine—those eyes. Glinting like steel about to snap. He said nothing. Didn't need to. He'd seen it. The kiss. "Draven—" I started, voice cracking like brittle glass.

"Is that what you want?" His voice was ice over fire—controlled, but only barely. "Him?" I flinched at the tone, at the quiet fury simmering just beneath it. He didn't raise his voice. He didn't step forward.

But his wolf was close. Too close. I could feel Sirius's presence like heat radiating off his skin. Coiled. Dangerous. Hurt.

"No," I said quickly, then stopped—realizing how that sounded. "I mean—"

"You kissed him."

"No." I bit my lip. "He kissed me."

"Yet you didn't stop him." His words weren't a question.

I hated how my throat tightened, how shame crept up my neck like vines, choking and suffocating. How he could make me feel guilty for something I hadn't even wanted.

The accusation hit harder than a scream would have. It was the way he said it—like a verdict, like it meant something profound. Like I'd chosen Evan over him.

"I didn't expect it," I murmured, voice small, hating how weak I sounded. "I didn't plan for it. I didn't want—"

"That doesn't answer my question." His voice was steady, relentless. "Did you want it, Atlas? Did you want him to kiss you?"

I blinked fast, anger flaring suddenly in my chest, hot and defensive, burning away the shame. "You don't get to interrogate me."

His brows lifted slightly, surprise flickering across his features, but the storm didn't ease. If anything, it intensified.

"You're my Alpha," I snapped, voice rising now, trembling with emotion I couldn't contain. "Not my keeper. Not my... something else."

Not my mate. Not the person who gets to claim me. Can't be. His expression barely shifted, carefully controlled, but something behind his eyes flickered and cracked.

Hurt? Rage? Pain? I couldn't tell through the storm, through the walls he kept so carefully constructed.

Not that it mattered. Because even as the words burned my tongue, even as I spat them like a shield, like a weapon to push him away—I lied.

I knew what he was to me. What he could be. What every instinct screamed he should be.

But I couldn't let him know. Couldn't let him get close. Not when I was destined to destroy everything I touched.

He stepped closer, slowly, each movement deliberate, as if holding himself in place with sheer force of will. His eyes never left mine, pinning me with their intensity.

"You think I don't know that?" he said quietly, voice dropping low and dangerous. "You think I haven't been fighting it every damn day since I first caught your scent? Since the moment you stumbled into my territory, half-dead and terrified?"

I staggered back, breath catching in my chest, heart pounding. His voice turned rough, like gravel scraping against fire, raw and honest in a way that stripped me bare.

"You think I don't feel it? Every time you walk into a room, every time you look at me like I'm something you don't know whether to run from or reach for? Every time you stand close enough that I can smell your scent and feel the heat of your skin?"

"Stop," I breathed, shaking my head, backing away. "Please."

"I can't," he growled, the sound rumbling from deep in his chest, making my wolf stir finally, responding to the alpha power in his voice. "Not when I just watched you give something that was mine to someone else."

The words hung between us like a physical thing, heavy and undeniable. Mine. He'd said mine. Like I belonged to him. Like I was his to claim.

And the terrifying part? Some deep, primal part of me wanted to be. Even knowing what I was. Even knowing I'd destroy him. I wanted to be his.