The Mafia's Pet

Chapter 73

Vanessa

A sharp pang twists in my chest, squeezing the air from my lungs as I stand before my husband with Nathan's gun aimed at his head. He looks so worn out, so unlike the put-together man in a suit that I'm used to, like my absence has completely disrupted his life. But I won't be foolish enough to think that. Nathan showed me proof that Diego is perfectly fine without me.

But why did he come? Did he regret his decision to let Nathan have me?

I almost want to run into his arms and ask him to make it all better, but nothing will ever be the same between us. No matter what he says.

I will never be the same.

"Mama, it's me," Diego says softly, taking a cautious step forward.

"Stay back!" My voice quivers, but I keep the gun steadily trained on him.

He freezes instantly, scrutinizing me from head to toe. His gaze darkens as he observes every bruise and cut marring my skin. But what he doesn't see are the wounds on the inside, the ones that will never heal.

After what I just survived, I don't want to feel anymore. I'm not even sure if I want to breathe anymore, but I must survive for the sake of my mom and sister, wherever she might be in this big ass warehouse.

Once I find her, we're going to disappear.

Even if I have to shoot Diego to ensure he won't follow us.

"Did you know about my mom? That my dad sold her?" I demand, studying him to make sure his answer isn't a blatant fucking lie to my face.

His eyes harden. "I had my suspicions, but it wasn't confirmed until yesterday."

"So you had suspicions, yet you chose to keep it from me. Nathan was right then," I retort, with a bitter laugh.

His jaw tightens, but his tone remains deadly calm, "How would you have felt if I told you that your mother's remains weren't in that urn, and it turned out to be false? If I got your hopes up high only to shatter your heart again? I would never intentionally hurt you, Vanessa."

Should I believe him? Or is he only covering his own ass?

His gaze flickers between the gun and my face. I know if he wanted to, he could easily snatch the weapon out of my hand and haul me over his shoulder, but he stays perfectly still. Waiting for me to come to him.

As his eyes pierce through my soul, I know he's telling the truth. I can't believe I ever doubted him in the first place, but in my defense, I've been through a lot of shit lately, and I don't know who to trust anymore.

His voice takes on a low, desperate edge. "Mama, I know you're scared. I know they hurt you. But I'm here now. I'm going to take you home. I'm going to chase away those nightmares, wipe away every tear. We can get through this, together."

For a moment, I consider it, but then reality slams into me. In this world, his world...what happened to me can happen again. Another one of his enemies will abduct me, and who knows if next time I'll be able to survive until he rescues me.

As Diego Reye's wife, I will always be a target.

The thought sends fear coursing through me. I can't go through this again, I'm not strong enough.

Meeting his gaze with determination, I whisper, "Diego, I need you to let me go."

"What are you asking?"

"I can't do this anymore. I don't belong here...in this world."

"Vanessa, come home. We can talk about this-"

Raising my voice, I shout, "I'm not going back there with you. I'm going to leave, and you will not follow me!"

His eyes narrow, a dangerous glint in them. "You know I will. You're mine, Vanessa."

"I'm not anyone's," I snap defiantly. With the weapon still pointed at him, I tug at the collar. "Take this stupid thing off so I can be free, or I'll shoot."

I'm not entirely confident in my threat, but I'm hoping he takes it seriously.

"No."

My eyes widen. "Are you serious? I'm holding a fucking gun to your head, and you're telling me no?"

"You can shoot me, Mama...even kill me, but you'll still be mine. You'll always be mine," he responds with a calm menace. "You know why?"

My throat tightens, each swallow feeling like sandpaper. "Why?"

"Because you gave me your heart just as I gave you mine, and if you think I'm just going to let you take off with my heart, you don't know how selfish...how ruthless of a man I can be."

His words steal my breath away. I need to escape before my resolve crumbles completely. Doesn't he see that we can't simply move on from this?

"What can I say to make you let me go?" I whisper, my lower lip wobbling.

He pins me with an intense stare. "Nothing. Do you think my feelings changed for you in five days?"

Only five days? It feels like I was locked in that basement for years.

But that doesn't change the fact that in five days the person I was...the strong, confident queen at Diego's side...has vanished, never to be found again.

The tears stinging my eyes finally fall, and with a shaky breath, I reveal the truth. "He raped me, Diego. So many fucking times. I'm ruined now, tainted. I understand if you'll never want to touch me again."

Blue flames ignite in his eyes. "Is that what you really think, Mama? That I wouldn't want you anymore because that fucker touched you without your consent?"

"The last time...I made him think I wanted it...and I..." My voice falters into a sob, choked by the guilt and shame that pierce through me like a knife.

Diego's voice trembles with emotion as he pleads, "Please, let me help you."

I shake my head violently, squeezing my eyes shut, trying to block out the sound of his pleading voice.

After what Nathan did to me, I don't see a way I can ever feel whole again.

Time seems to stretch infinitely as I grapple with my emotions. I feel as if I'm teetering on the edge of a cliff right now, deciding to step away or jump into the abyss below. Although I know I couldn't control what Nathan took from me, I'm also aware that I'll never be able to do undo the damage he inflicted.

No matter what I do, I'll never forget that he was inside me, or that in the middle of raping me, I killed him.

I'll always be his victim.

And that will forever be a fact. And I don't know how to deal with it.

Feeling physically and mentally hollow, I press the gun to my own temple, silent tears cascading down my cheeks.

This will make it all better.