The Viking's Mate Hunt

CHAPTER 102

Maya's POV

Crisp and fresh air loaded with salt from the open sea filled my every breath and brushed against my bare skin. Who would have thought I loved sailing so much? I grew up in the middle of nowhere, a little town with all the necessities one would need, of course, but besides that, there was forest and mountains as far as the eye could see. Now, I'm standing here, filling my lungs to the brim with saltwater air and loving every second of it. I really love the sound of waves, the way the ship moves on the water, the smell, and the incredibly clean air. Arcane's confused voice made it all even better, feeding the happy little sadist inside of me.

"I don't get it. Is he sick?"

"No, Nyx checked him; even that old doctor checked him inside and out. He is fine. A little pale and weak, but besides, there is nothing wrong with him. He needs sun, that's it. And he needs to go home."

"That's just bullshit. Didn't you see him? I'm not talking about the color of his skin and all that, but the man is just a ghost of whom he used to be. That cocky, incredibly confident, and entitled asshat didn't manage to lift his gaze off the ground!"

My eyes rested on the late sun rays that bathed in slow-moving waves far ahead; the view was magical, like a sign that this time, we were on the right way. I knew it would take some time, crossing the open sea, restocking and checking on Tew's pack, and kicking Toke's ass off the boat. When he is back where he belongs, there is nothing left to stop us from finding Eir!

"Are you even listening to me?"

I couldn't help myself and started giggling. Arcane's warm hands tightened around my waist; his rough and badly shaved chin scraped on my neck and shoulder. I knew he did it on purpose, teasing me, but I never forced him to do anything. He chose to shave, and apparently, he wasn't very good at it and looked like small creatures attacked him with sharp mini knives all over his chin. It didn't change the fact that I loved it. I loved that he did it for me; he did it because he thought I would like it better after complaining about his beard being everywhere it should not be.

"Of course, how can I possibly block out that manly whining?"

Every muscle in my body jumped, and a squeal left my throat as he lifted me up and bit my shoulder playfully.

"I am not whining! Be careful, I might have to eat you up just to show you how manly I am!"

"Oh, I bet you will!"

I laughed back, leaned my forehead against his cheek, and tried pushing him away while squirming in his grip.

"You little Minx! That is not what I meant, but who am I to refuse the ladies' request!"

A low growl vibrated in his chest and throat, sending warm shivers all over my body, and slowly his bite turned to warm and wet kisses up my neck.

"Ehm"

Someone clearing their throat awkwardly behind us made me laugh even more while Arcane mumbled profanities against my flustered skin before he reluctantly managed to tear away. Turn around and face what he just called the intruder.

"I've told you before, brother; no, I am not sharing with you!"

Arcane crossed his arms over his chest; I bit my lip not to laugh uncontrollably while Tew's face flushed red, while he did his best to glare daggers at Arcane.

"Oh, shut that lying gape you call a mouth! You know I never...! I would never...! That's not..! Grow up! We need you in here, we are going over the map, and unfortunately, you know these waters better than me!"

He stomped away without another word, and with a grin, Arcane hooked his arm around me again, and together we followed him. I stayed for almost an hour, but I had nothing to do there. Everything I achieved was frustration learning how many days it took to sail from one place to another. Every inch of my body told me I was in a hurry; I know it's just nerves and anxiety, but it did me no good. We have been on this ship for almost three days already, and I know we have at least three more days before we reach Tew's pack. The barbarians pack lands, the place Eir was born.

Nyx's words also worried me, a threat nobody could figure out. She tried several times to unlock clues, fishing in both Tew and Arcane's memories. Even Hades permitted her to peak through his head; nothing stood out. Nobody that could be this dangerous unknown. Arcane worried about Toke; he and Hades talked about it often, but I have to admit I didn't care at all. Of course, I cared for Arcane and what he felt, but Toke? I didn't want to waste another second thinking about him. He was depressed, and the signs were clear as day. Depressed, and his ego was broken.

Not only did his wolf leave him, but his mate also hated him, and he lost everything he played so high stakes at claiming. To top it all off, I managed to break him even more. Did I feel bad about it? Not really; I mean, I survived treatments like that for years while growing up. I also made sure to tell him this after he gave me all the information I wanted, just to rub in on how weak I thought he was. If it were up to me, we would only have to worry about getting him food and water a couple of times a day until we got rid of him. I knew I should say something to Arcane, but I didn't know how without telling him what I did. Without telling him what my childhood was like. He knows I had a rough time, but I don't want him to know the details; I don't want him to see me as a broken doll or something.

On the other hand, I think Tew knows; he sends me these looks from time to time, mainly when Hades and Arcane discuss Toke. His eyes pierce through my skin and mind, and over the last couple of days, I've convinced myself he knows everything and has seen everything in my head.

It doesn't make sense, and I know it's not true, but again, I can't shake that feeling. I also know this is one of the reasons Arcane teases him because he has seen his stare and seen me begin to avoid him. It is not because I find him uncomfortable or creepy; it makes me feel bad. He pulls out a guilty consciousness from deep down inside me, not for Toke, but for Arcane.

Leaning over the deck, I once again find myself spacing out, watching the moving water and waves throwing themselves against the wooden side of the ship. I also knew he was standing right behind me, but like the coward I was, I pretended I didn't. Hoping it would make him leave, but no such luck.

"You will need to speak to him."

To my surprise, Tew's voice was soft and gentle, far from the harsh, accusing, and angry tone I had imagined him to use to start this conversation.

"I know, but... I have tried to tell him not to worry, that there is nothing wrong with Toke."

"That's not enough, and you know it. You will have to really talk to him, and soon. Look, I know this sounds ridiculous, but it is important to him. His beast can sense you and your emotions the same way he would if you were a beast and if you two were mated. He knows you are hiding something, but he is scared to death to find out. Scared, it will make you leave him, not the other way around. This makes him question everything between you two, everything he feels and everything he does. Even everything you say, the way you react to every small thing happening between you two, he analyzes, goes over in his mind. This secret will break you. No, it will break you as a couple. So please, talk to him."

"I didn't know it was that bad or important."

I muttered, guilt and shame making my throat feel thick and my face burning.

"But, I don't want him to see me as broken! I don't want him to look at me differently. I like the way he looks at me now, the way he has always looked at me."

It felt so childish, and emotions washed over me, and I started crying. No reason for it, but I had no control over it.

"I am not saying display everything; tell him every single detail about yourself. All I am asking you to do is tell him why Toke changed. You don't even have to say exactly what you did to achieve it, but you know what you did to him and why he is like he is. Tell him. It sounds so unimportant, but obviously, it isn't. It's the insecurity, feeling left out, and doubt that is messing with him, and the way he is looking at you has already changed. Start a conversation, give him a little piece of what his beast needs to feel closer to you, and maybe you will learn something about him and his childhood too."

I started bawling, I had no idea what was wrong with me, but everything was boiling over, and I knew he was right. I've seen him change around me and felt the change on his body when pressed against mine. It was almost like I, deep down, did it on purpose to keep him at arm's length, even when all I wanted was for him to get closer. Destroying everything I want, all on my own, because.. Because I am scared.

That awkward pat on my back made me burst out in a strange sound. It should have been a burst of laughter, but instead, it was a bad attempt at one filled with pain, crying, and almost coughing. I pictured Tew as Sheldon Cooper from one of my favorite series back home when he patted me on the back,

"Dear, dear. It is okay. It will be okay. Just do it and stop torturing yourself."

He walked away and gave me some space and time to breathe. Watching the waves, once again, slowly brought me back from the ugly crying and sulking, the reality hit me hard, and my stomach clenched to a little rock. I knew what I had to do, and I knew it would change everything. With deep breaths, I talked myself up and found the courage and confidence to do what I dreaded, but all of it vanished the second Arcand walked out on the deck behind him. No doubt Tew sent him up for me.