Don't toy with me: sexiest man of the year

DECLINE

Antonio's face stiffened slightly at that question. He knew Angela was only curious, but the thought of his past still made him feel a twinge of discomfort. He pulled away from her and walked to the place he had kept his pants to dress up. Angela was a bit disappointed, her brows married into a frown. She grabbed the soft, fluffy duvet from the foot of the wall where Antonio had dropped them and draped it over her shoulders. The fabric was smooth against her skin; she pulled it close, savoring the feeling of comfort and warmth, yet not comfortable. Her mind kept welcoming many questions at a time. Why would he just ignore her question? Why is he suddenly cold because of that question. He said I can ask him anything, then why is he suddenly ignoring my question. Except if the answer to that question is someone he doesn't want to talk about. Diana came to mind. “So it's Diana?” She snapped out without holding back. Antonio froze for a minute, then continued pulling his pants up his long legs. “I never said she was the one”. “Well, I wonder who you are so afraid to talk about that made you that moody all of a sudden. You don't need to say it, your reaction said everything I need to know.”. Antonio was silent. “I still don't understand,” Angela said, her voice tinged with frustration. “Why can't you just tell me? You promise to answer each of my questions”. “About me not someone else”. Antonio replied coldly. “Well she is related to you in this situation…the question is who…so it has to be about someone else…who is it?” Angela replied, clenching hard on the duvet. “I don't want to talk about it”. “Why!” She snapped back. “What are you so afraid of Antonio? You are all fierce and mighty until Diana is mentioned…don't you think that she is not as good as you think if she programmed you to have sex to show every single emotion? She is not…” “Enough!” Antonio's red eyes staring at her shocked, watery ones. He sighed slowly and continued softly. “You know nothing about Diana, yes she might have told me and made me show my emotions through sex, but she was the only one there for me when I needed someone”. Angela's eyes were soaked. “Well, I am so sorry that I wasn't there for you, Mr. Antonio when you were little and alone. I wish I were there…maybe you can make me some shrine and worship me like a goddess instead of some bitch”. “Diana is the best woman I have ever..” He paused abruptly, seeing how broken she was through those eyes. He ran a hand over his hair and turned away. Angela nodded in a mixture of disbelief and awareness. “Even after everything that happened between us…it appears that I can't replace that woman right?” “I never said that you are making this difficult for me, Angela!” Antonio said, raising his voice in frustration. “I'm trying to make you understand, but it's not easy!” “I just want an answer,” Angela said, her voice rising to match his. “Why is that so hard?” “Because it's difficult!” Antonio said, his face flushed with anger. Angela said, her eyes flashing with anger. “It won't be difficult if you love me, Antonio! If it's not so easy to answer, then you should know she is a bad person, who influenced you wrongly, but you are defending her”. Angela snapped back. Antonio looked up and found her soaked in tears. “Tell me…. Antonio … .if Diana returns to you this minute. What's going to happen to us?” Her lips quivered as she tried to hold back. There was a long, uncomfortable, intense silence between them. “Why do you bring her up all of a sudden? We just had an intimate moment minutes ago”. Antonio replied tightly. “Because I need to be sure! Tell me Antonio, how would you feel if after everything I still have Damon in my heart “? His eyes stabbed her that very moment and stayed for a minute, slowly he chuckled, and a hand swiped over his face. Angela was in the middle of regretting those words or being glad she was bold enough to voice out her feelings when his voice came. “That's it? You want to show me how much it hurts? Go ahead, hook up with Damon, you are free to do so! Show me how it feels, maybe I will learn from it.” Angela opened her mouth to accuse him of gaslighting here, but he continued with his back turned to her. “Diana and I were inseparable that even though she's not here with me anymore, I can still feel her. I think about her and immediately find her right in front of me smiling and touching me telling me how I will love her and make her happy, sometimes hallucinating when I am drunk, high or near death, she was always there with me. That happened for years until you came. Whenever I tried to think of her again…it was you…my mind has become occupied with you…I am trying to figure out those emotions through. The day you left… I lost myself…my mind…my heart… I was out of control. One thing was certain, I can't lose you. I know how hard and frustrating it can be. How sad and heartbreaking it can be to love someone as selfish as me. I do not expect you to understand the battle that I am going through Angela, it's not your responsibility to care about my past”. “No…”. Angela muttered. “I need you …I need you Angela… I don't know how to explain it anymore…I wish you could stop caring so much about Diana… I wish I can also stop caring so much about her”. Angela was at the same spot when he left the room and slowly closed the door. Guilt feeling is an understatement to whatever she felt deep in her bones. She slid down the walls and buried herself up with the duvet, covering her head down to her toes, she tried not to cry out loud.