radicalducati 2.24
2.24
Lucas’s POV
After spending sometime confined to my room, mulling over Alex’s words in my head, I decided to avoid that headache for later, and got out of my room to go hang out with David or my sister.
My guys were already on the plane, headed to Fairbanks.
They’re still a few hours away from meeting us here.
As my steps neared the stairs, I heard painful whimpers coming from Angelina’s room and I froze before I took my fist step down the stairs.
My head turned towards the direction of her room, contemplating whether to ignore those sounds or go inside to investigate.
God, was she having another one of those episodes again?
Then I heard it loud and clear, her sounds of distress shooting right through my heart, making my legs move towards her room on their fucking own.
“Please! Don’t kill her! Please! Stop please!”
I walk inside and find her thrashing in bed, her tears falling down through her closed eyes.
She was having another nightmare about her mom’s murder.
I go over to her and my hands hover just above her face, frozen, unable to bring myself to touch her when I know how much she’s afraid and probably disgusted of me going anywhere near her.
I know how much of a monster she believes me to be. A heartless, cold blooded killer who enjoys causing pain to anyone.
And I am that monster, I’m aware of my sickness, my psychopathy, and I never had a problem letting everyone know that about me. I was very comfortable with myself and accepting of that crazy side of me.
But when I’m around her, I don’t know why, I feel the need to both curb down that side and show her that I’m not going to act on it or inflict it on her.
The irony of it all is not lost on me at all. I want to show her that she has nothing to be afraid of when she’s around me, but at the same time I have no problem ending up using her for my own gains even if it ends up at the cost of hurting her.
Definitely a psychopath.
And definitely not the kind hearted person I want to be when I’m around her.
I’m just lying to myself. Deep down I know I’m capable of hurting her. All that nonsense about showing her that I can be good towards her is just another side of my crazy nature.
Her cries intensify as her struggle against the bed sheet grows more violent and I’m forced to intervene before she ends up hurting herself.
I just realized that I have no problem hurting her, but I still don’t want her to hurt herself. This woman is upgrading my level of insanity by the second.
“Merida wake up! It’s not real!” I shake her shoulders hard, trying to jostle her out of her nightmare.
She diverts her attention from fighting the covers to fighting me, her screams of help getting louder as she scratches at my arms.
I hiss at the stings she was causing to my arms, get a hold of her flailing hands, and yank her to a sitting position roughly.
Her eyes fly open and she chokes on a scream when her fearful eyes collide with mine.
I release her right away and back away with my hands up, knowing exactly how this looks like to her now-awake, sober self.
“Easy, I was just trying to wake you up. You were screaming in your sleep” I said calmly.
Her breathing was coming out so labored and irregular as she stared at me wildly, trying to gather her bearings.
“I was screaming? Wh… what… did I say?” she asked me hesitantly as her fear of herself slipping up on whatever she was keen on lying about, intensified in her dark blue, tearful, eyes.
“Don’t kill her?” I said in a form of questioning.
I watched as her face paled instantly, and her breathing stopped altogether.
Two seconds later, she’s leaping from the bed and running towards the bathroom with her hand against her mouth.
She threw the door closed on her way in, and right away, I heard her throwing up from the other side, retching repeatedly.
I ran my hands over my head as I chastised myself.
I probably shouldn’t have told her what she was screaming about.
Well, too late now.
“What are you doing here Lucas? I heard screaming” mom materialized behind me like an avenging angel about to smite me down for being in the girl’s room when she clearly warned me to stay away.
I know how this looked like to her too, and I don’t know why I need to defend myself all the freaking time nowadays!
“She was having a nightmare, screaming and about to hurt herself. I was just trying to help her that’s all” I said tightly.
Understanding dawned on her as her face visibly relaxed, but didn’t exactly calm her as she heard Angelina puking her guts out in there, heaving and coughing.
Her face contorted in pain for her as she approached the door of the bathroom and knocked softly when the heaving stopped altogether.
“Dear, are you okay in there? Can I come inside?” mom asks warily.
Her answer is immediate and shaky “N..no, I’m fine, Ms. Snow. I’ll b… be right out”
I heard the toilet flush then the sound of the water running at the sink.
A few minutes later, she emerged out of the bathroom looking warily between me and my mother, her face paler than a sheet.
Mom cupped her face softly as she asked “Are you okay? Is your stomach bothering you?”
She shook her head and said weekly, her voice still a little scratchy from all that strain she put on it during her panicked puking “I feel better now. Nothing is bothering me, don’t worry”
Mom rested her palm on her forehead, checking her temperature, then she nodded her head at her in reassurance “You should probably lay back down and get more rest”
“I think she could use a walk outside actually. A breath of fresh air could help her stressed body to relax more” I suggested casually as I shoved my hands inside my jeans pockets.
“Yeah that sounds good, maybe you and April can go for a walk as soon as she comes back from visiting her friend’s house, what do you think?” mom asked her hopefully.
Angelina nodded her head and mumbled “If she doesn’t mind of course, I’d love to go for a walk”
“I can take you now, no need to wait for April. She might take a long time at her friend’s house. And I think you need the fresh air right about now” I said playfully.
Mom looked at me sharply and said firmly “She’s not going anywhere alone with you Lucas. You can go with them when April returns”
“But isn’t it up to her to decide, mom? I don’t think she minds my company as much as you think she does. I’m not going to bite her after all, and you know that” I said steadily.
My mom eyed me suspiciously, searching for a hidden motive behind that sudden interest to take a walk with the girl.
Well my hidden motive is boredom, last time I checked, that wasn’t a freaking crime!
She turned her attention to Angelina and said softly “It’s totally up to you dear. You can wait for April, too. You don’t have to go now”
She gazed at me and I couldn’t resist from raising one eyebrow at her, daring her to say no and admit to being afraid of taking a simple walk with me, alone.
I saw that challenging glint return to her eyes as she registered my silent taunting of her.
If there is one thing this girl is obviously incapable of, it’s backing down from a challenge, and admitting defeat right away.
“I think I really need that walk. I think it would be good for my stomach too” Angelina said to mom with a weak smile.
“Ok, then. I’ll go get you one of April’s thick jackets so you don’t catch a cold in this freezing weather while you put your shoes on” mom said softly and started walking towards the door.
She didn’t hesitate to give me the warning glare I’m all too familiar for receiving from her most of the time.
A glare that said to behave myself and better return with her in the same state she left her in if not better, otherwise, I’ll be in deep shit.
She doesn’t mess around when it comes to punishing us for doing something wrong.
And she’s scary as hell when she goes all mad at someone.
Even I, the great, fearless, Lucas Snow, with all my cocky, edgy, I don’t give a fuck attitude, will think twice before defying her word or doing something she already warned me against.
Does that really stop me though?
Not all the time.
And I had a feeling that I’m going to break my promise not to mess around with Angelina sooner rather than later.
We just have to wait and see.