radicalducati 19
19
Jenny’s POV
If I wanted more proof that this was going to be my own personal hell, it’s staring down at me now in the form of roast beef.
I hate nothing more than that meal. I’m not a red meat person. Minced meat is okay, in addition to chicken , but large thick pieces of cooked meat cannot physically go down my throat.
I had to gulp down every single bite with water. And even that was proving difficult, because I was feeling nauseous for eating something I dislike so much.
I couldn’t speak and say I don’t want to eat it, because I hate it. It would be rude. And Alex would be pissed off and take it out on me. I’d rather piss him off over something more worthy than that.
If someone notices my weird eating behavior, no one comments on it. I wouldn’t know though, because I never lifted my eyes further than my plate.
Despite the small piece I scooped into my plate, it never seemed to end, no matter how many bites I take from it.
By the time April, Lucas, and David were finished and left the dining room, I was miserably staring down at the three small pieces of roast beef left on my plate.
I can’t do it, I can’t take another bite.
From the corner of my eye, I noticed that Alex was done eating, but he was still sitting next to me. I don’t know whether he was looking at me or not and I did not dare to find out.
Which option is worse? Throwing up my entire lunch in front of them after forcing these last three bites down my throat or leaving the plate with some pieces left on it?
Alex’s mom puts me out of my misery.
“Jennifer?” she calls gently.
I look up at her and see her smiling at me kindly as she says “It’s okay you don’t have to finish it honey. It appears that you don’t like roast beef and I’m so sorry that I didn’t ask you before, or I would have prepared another meal beside it”
Even though I so wanted to confirm her guess, I thought better of it and lied instead “You don’t have to prepare anything special for me. I eat everything. It’s not that I don’t like it, it’s just that I am so full I am having a hard time finishing it, that’s all. But thank you very much for your kindness”
She nods her head gently but doesn’t say anything.
I take my plate and glass of water, stand up, and go over to the kitchen where Sara was washing the dishes.
She takes my plate and continues her work.
I turn around and look at the table with uncertainty, there were still some empty plates and glasses left on it. Should I help clean or just go back to the room without touching anything?
On one hand it’s impolite not to help out, on the other hand Alex specifically ordered me not to touch anything that doesn’t belong to me.
I look up at Alex and my throat tightens. He was coldly gazing at me, it looks like he was gazing at me for a while now but I didn’t pay him any attention before.
His mother was still sitting in her chair, staring between us warily.
After a few seconds, Alex slightly nods his head to the side towards the direction of his room while still staring at me.
I tear my gaze away from him and head out of the dining room at once.
I go inside his room and pace back and forth in agitation as the nausea threatens to turn into puking.
I can’t afford to puke because then, the little insulin I gave myself after Sara called me for lunch was going to need another snack to compensate for it and I frankly ran out of jelly beans.
I put my head phones on, put on some of my favorite music, and continue to pace back and forth to distract myself while still getting some sort of workout from it.
I had been off my usual intense workouts for two days now. It wasn’t healthy to stop so suddenly at all, especially with my diabetes.
After a period of pacing, my stomach settles down a bit.
I sit in my usual spot on the window ledge and resume watching my TV series.
Alex never bothers me or comes into the room.
I find myself constantly thinking about what he still has in store for me as the night descends.
I hoped he would give me the room to myself and takes another room to settle in. But then again, he wouldn’t give me his own room unless he was going to stay in it too. And that brought a wave of fear and worry to settle in the pit of my stomach as to his intentions for me.
As the clock hit 7:45 in the evening, my whole body became a combination of aching painful throbs. From my intense headache, the cut on my collarbone, to the various bruises and whip marks, They were all hurting together at the same time.
I was in pure agony. I couldn’t move, sit, or stand, because no matter what I do, the pain keeps intensifying instead of dulling.
I needed some pain killers desperately but I don’t dare to get out of the room after lunch or ask someone for it.
I was extremely thirsty too, thanks to the roast beef I had earlier, my throat was so dry. I was also hungry, sweating, shaking, and dizzy.
I checked my watch and saw the beginning of hypoglycemia slowly approaching.
At this point, all of my symptoms are so mixed up, I no longer know if they are side effects of my diabetes or my physical trauma, or both.
I have never experienced this level and mixture of pain and discomfort like I was feeling right now.
I had to practically bite my lips and resist making any audible sounds, or moaning in pain just to get a little relief.
No one can know that there is something wrong with me; particularly Alex, or they might use that against me.
I ended up sitting on one of the chairs, leaning forward and supporting my elbows on my thighs, as my hands tried to message the migraine from my head.
A light knock on the door made me sit up straight and wipe any emotion from my face as I said tightly “Come in”
Sara came inside and stood at the end of the corridor leading inside the room.
“Dinner is ready” she said firmly with a slight kind smile.
“I’m coming behind you” I said rigidly.
She nodded her head and walked out of the room.
I got up, sat on the dresser chair, and gave my self an insulin injection.
Despite my looming hypoglycemia, I had to give myself insulin to last me until morning.
I put back everything in its place, and get up.
Suddenly, a wave of intense pain from my collarbone went through me and my head swayed with dizziness.
I slowly walked towards the opposite wall, leaned my back on it and lifted my head upward, my right hand instinctively went to rest on my collarbone cut and my other hand was banging the wall behind me with a closed fist, trying to channel my agony onto it.
I closed my eyes and begged my body silently in my head.
Please, stop hurting me so much, I need to go to the dining room without a hint of pain, please settle down just until dinner is over, I’m begging you.
“Do you need a formal invitation to grace us with your presence at meal time?” a harsh cold voice asked from the middle of the room.
***
Alex’s POV
I saw her gasp lightly and flinch in surprise as she opened her closed eyes, turned her body; which was leaning against the wall, and looked at me.
My blood was boiling from her little acts of disrespect during meal time.
We were left on the dining table again, waiting for her to show up. And when she didn’t appear after four minutes of waiting, I stood up from my chair and headed towards my room to have the little chat I put off earlier.
I didn’t knock since the door was left slightly open, I pushed it further and sauntered into the bedroom silently.
I was planning to storm into the room in fury and anger, but when I gave her a once over, my anger subsided, a little.
She was leaning against the wall with her eyes closed, she was sweating despite the cold atmosphere in the room from the still half opened window, and pure agony plain on her face. One of her hands rested on the side of her upper chest, while the other one was banging against the wall in frustration.
She was clearly hurting, but I didn’t know the source of it.
I was about to ask her what was wrong with her, but stopped myself at the last second.
If she didn’t speak, I wasn’t going to ask.
I didn’t care. I wasn’t supposed to care.
“Do you need a formal invitation to grace us with your presence at meal time?” I said sternly instead.
When she turned her body to face me, I found my eyes focusing on the hand she was placing on her upper chest.
Something told me that that was the source of her pain, the memory of how she gasped painfully in the morning after I grasped her neck in the front yard, jumped into my head.
She immediately removed her hand and clutched it tightly on her side when she noticed my gaze.
I didn’t know what to make of the whole situation and it was gnawing at me.
She gulped visibly, fear emanating from her green eyes before she cast them down, and said shakily “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be late on purpose”
I narrowed my eyes at her. Analyzing the honesty behind her words.
I couldn’t be sure if she was being truthful or not.
“This is the last time Sara comes into this room to call on you. Breakfast and dinner are both served at eight and lunch is served at two. It’s not that complicated to remember. You will be there on time, otherwise you will force me to take a rather unpleasant approach towards you, is that understood?” I said coldly.
She keeps her eyes glued to the floor as she nods slightly.
I step aside and order her curtly “Start walking”
We enter the dining room, and to my surprise, no one was eating yet.
They were waiting for us even though I told them to start without us.
I guess my mom asked them not to.
We sat silently and began our dinner.
My mom and Sara made broccoli soup, baked beans and macaroni and cheese for dinner tonight.
While soup was a daily tradition at our dinner table, it was usually served with one main course, and I couldn’t help but conclude that the two meals were prepared for Jennifer’s sake.
Despite explicitly telling my mother not to bother with the girl’s dislike for certain meals, she still made an effort to please her.
We all start eating our soup, while Jennifer gulps down like three glasses of water without a pause between them.
Why did she have to take that one rule where I asked her to stay in her room all the time so freaking literally?
I didn’t mean that she has to starve or thirst herself, she could come to the kitchen to eat and drink whenever she wants. She wasn’t a prisoner in that room after all.
I suppressed a frustrating groan and tried not to pay her any attention.
Ten minutes through dinner, Jennifer and Lucas both went for the macaroni and cheese ladle to get a second serving.
When their fingers touched, Jennifer snatched her hand back as if the touch burned her skin and dropped her eyes to her plate, while Lucas gave her a death glare that she couldn’t see but clearly feel from her sudden rigid form.
Lucas stood up abruptly, causing his chair to fall backward audibly and sprinted out of the room in fury.
“Lucas!” mom called out to him sternly, but he didn’t give her any attention as he disappeared out through the corridor.
I looked sideways at Jennifer and saw her eyes closed and her mouth set in a thin line.
She opens them and gets up from her chair, about to walk behind me.
I hold her wrist in my hand firmly to stop her as I turn my head and glare up at her.
“Where do you think you’re going?” I ask icily.
She looks down at me, her anger seeping from her eyes as she answers me in the same tone I used “I’m full”
“You don’t get up from the table and leave it unless most of the people sitting on it are done with their food, sit back down” I said harshly.
She raises her eyebrows at me slightly, conveying a silent retort; since Lucas was able to leave the table and no one dared to stop him or scorn him for it, before realizing her mistake and dropping her eyes to the ground.
“Alex, let her go please. It’s okay you can leave if you want to” mom said warily.
She raised her eyes back up to look at me, I narrowed mine in warning while gripping her wrist tighter; possibly stopping her blood circulation in the process, and gazed down at her chair than back up at her as a sign to do the wise thing and sit down.
She grits her teeth inside her closed mouth, stares at me for a few seconds with underlying hatred, then sits back down in her chair.
I let go of her wrist and carry on with my food like nothing happened. I look up and see my mom about to say something to her, but I just shake my head in a grim expression.
She sits there the entire time not eating or doing anything, except staring down at the wrist I held so tightly moments ago.
No one speaks through the rest of dinner.
As soon as mom got up, followed by April, she stood up and left the dining room at once.
My mom immediately turns to me and says scornfully “You didn’t have to be so harsh on her Alex! Your brother has scared her enough, you didn’t have to force her to sit through this”
“Please mom, don’t tell me how to treat her, she’s my responsibility to deal with and mine alone. I will speak to her however I see fit” I said firmly.
She looks at me grimly and says “But she hasn’t done anything to deserve that kind of strict treatment. The poor thing was dying of thirst and she didn’t even dare to step foot outside your room from fear of you”
She carried on in a disappointed tone that she had rarely ever used on me “I don’t know what you said or did to her to get her to fear you so immensely to the point that she can’t even maintain eye contact with you, but you should know that it’s so cruel and that’s not how I raised you all to be”
She walks out of the room without another word.
I sigh loudly, and see April and David avoiding to look at me.
Their expressions were clear though, they agreed with mom.
I get up and head out to the front yard to catch some much needed fresh air.
I sit down on one of the garden chairs and stare up at the stars filled sky while blowing air from my mouth causing white smoke to come out due to the freezing cold weather.
It’s a habit of mine I tend to do whenever I’m stressed out.
I stay like this for half an hour keeping my head blank as much as possible, until Mathew comes and joins me.
“What’s up Mathew?” I ask mildly while still staring at the sky.
“We have a weapon shipment coming into town in two days from Canada. I wanted to tell you that everything is set to handle it professionally. Our men will be extra cautious for any unexpected surprises along the way”
“Good, I will be there to receive it myself at the town border. I don’t want any problems to arise” I said determinedly.
“As you wish” said Mathew as he got up and left me to my thoughts.
I closed my eyes and took deep calming breaths before being forced to go to my room now that it was almost time to sleep.
I managed to nap in Jacob’s room after lunch because I didn’t want to spend time with her more than necessarily possible. But at night, I have to sleep in my room. I have to keep an eye on her and make sure she doesn’t wander around or do anything stupid. Besides, I don’t feel comfortable sleeping in someone else’s bed.
‘How can you be sure she won’t kill you or any of us in our sleep?’ Lucas’s words ring in my ear at that moment.
As tempting as it probably was to her, I was certain she wouldn’t dare to do such a thing.
She did this to protect her clan just like me, she wasn’t about to risk it when she knows my men can take them all down if I die.
I get up and head back to the house through the kitchen’s back door.
I freeze in my place as I enter the kitchen and see my brother pinning Jennifer against one of the countertops, and a big ass knife raised in his right hand, pointed a few inches away from her heart.