Beloved (Heart Hunter Series Book 1)

Chapter 11

Kara stepped out of the shower the next morning, thinking of Josh and nothing else. This wasn’t the day she’d ever dreamed of. Not even in her worst nightmares had waking up in James’ arms on the day of her brother ’s funeral ever been a thought or inkling.

She hadn’t wanted to leave his hold when the sunlight had woken her from her dead sleep. One limb at a time, she’d pulled herself from his tight embrace. His arm around her midsection had refused to move but she had managed to free herself. As she looked back at him one last time before leaving, she’d watched him sleep in the peacefulness of the disturbing morning air. The day of her baby brother ’s funeral.

Her ankle gave out as her feet hit condensation on the cracked tiles of the washroom floor and it zapped away the family of James lying asleep in bed that morning. She winced, taking a glance at the throbbing red ankle still bruised from trying to drag Josh from the hell tunnel. His expression blank, his limbs limp, his eyes lost, her brother… dead.

With tears streaming her cheeks, she ran the towel over her body in a monotonous motion. The mirrors thickened with fog and she was thankful not to have to look at herself. Not to see her own distress and have it propel her guilt further.

The new black dress hung on the back of the door and she glanced at it and its hefty price tag—bought and paid for by James. She hadn’t needed a dress like that to bury her brother but she’d wear it.

Kara secured the towel around her chest and picked up the hairdryer.

Flicking it on, she aimed the blast at her roots, using her fingers to build shape into her dark waves.

The mirror slowly unfogged and she checked her appearance, fixing her hair in places with her fingertips but to no avail. Thank god, I look a little less sick.

Her hand dropped the towel from her body as she picked up the brand new black lace bra sitting on the counter and snapped the tags off. It was the nicest feeling bra she’d ever had on, never mind the fact that it fit her. She slipped the straps along her frail shoulders and shimmied her arms behind to clip it together. As she was slipping into a pair of underwear, a knock interrupted her reach for the dress.

“Err.” She grabbed for the towel. “One second.” She fumbled, tripping on the rug and into the door. “Ow!”

“Are you alright?” James asked from the hall. She blanched and unlocked it, poking her head out. “Hi, yeah… I mean, fine.”

He was trimly dressed in black trousers, a crisp white shirt and black tie, igniting everything inside her she wished he wouldn’t. Even his runners he’d replaced with shining dress shoes.

She ignored her spark of attraction to him. “You look…” He waited with a rising eyebrow. Hot. Handsome… She corrected those words to get out, “nice.”

“Thank you.” His smile didn’t quite brim the corners of his mouth. “Can I come in? You’ve been in here for thirty-six minutes.”

She made a face. Thirty-six minutes?

“There’s a bathroom downstairs,” she reminded him.

“Your grandmother told me there’s hair product.” He waited for her to open the door and walked over to the mirror, pulling it back to reveal a hidden cabinet.

Kara shut the door. “I’m getting dressed,” her own whisper surprised her.

With his attention on the task, he only mumbled and pulled out the bottle he was after.

“Uh, okay.” She turned away to wait for him to leave, getting frazzled and staring at her dress instead. “Where’d you get those clothes you’re wearing?”

“I brought them with me.”

“You always travel with a suit?” Kara questioned while snatching the dress off of the hanger to busy herself. “Your shoes are so shiny.”

“Thank you?”

She dropped her towel by accident and scrambled after it. He cleared his throat and she spun around to face him in her underwear, struggling to wrap herself back up and when the towel fell the second time, she didn’t go to grab it. He stared at her and the seconds passed in slow succession between them.

“Sorry.” He turned away, though Kara couldn’t ignore the delay in that action. He’d seen her naked before aside the countless other girls she was sure he’d also seen naked, her underwear couldn’t be a show in comparison

to all that. She pulled the dress to her chest, realizing she still had it in her hold.

“Since you’re here, will you do up the dress once I get it on?”

He waited as she stepped into it.

“Kay.” She breathed, adjusting her shoulders into the fabric and they faced one another again in a long but not so awkward moment. James slid behind her and his hand found the tiny zipper on the back of the dress immediately. As he brought it up her side, his breath caressed her shoulder with the slowness of the zip.

“You forgot the tag.”

She hadn’t though, because a part of her had wanted to return it later and give him the money back for the expensive dress. He removed it for her and tucked the actual tag back in place along her nape.

She pushed past the awkwardness. “Thanks.”

“I’ve packed all my things. After the funeral, I’ll take the car back and a taxi to the hotel. Do you want to come along?”

She stammered with understanding of his plans, not wishing to think of him actually gone again. “Maybe. Will you stand with me when I have to speak?”

“Yes.”

She nodded like a bobblehead and brought her hands up his chest.

“Really, thank you.”

His hands lifted to her waist but he drew them back before they made contact. “Don’t thank me.”

She winced as her fingertips snagged at a button along his shirt, just above his belt. Her nails tapped the metal buckle and she felt her heart thump when he didn’t step away like she expected. “I just need a few more minutes.”

“Alright.” He finally pulled back and stepped toward the door.

“I’m just going to put on a bit of makeup. I look too pale, right?”

“I think you look perfect.” He watched her as she stepped up to the vani ty, and she glanced at his reflection in the mirror. Their eyes held and he reached for the doorknob after the long moment. “I’ll be downstairs, when you’re ready.”

Her stomach rolled new knots on top of knots as the door shut with his leave. She grabbed the canister of old drying mascara she’d found in the bottom of her grandmother ’s purse. One lipgloss, in a pale nude color was her last step. She smoothed her hair over her shoulders and knew she could do nothing more for her appearance. Padding barefoot down the hall, she made her way to the main level where she met them all in the kitchen. Her grandparents were ready to go and so was James, with his outfit now complete with a casual jacket and a coffee mug in hand.

She broke eye contact with him and picked up her shoes from the box sitting on a nearby chair. They made her a whole three inches taller and feeling a bit on stilts because of it.

He overlooked the heel size. Her hands ran through her hair again. “Guess we should go,” she announced to the silent kitchen. Lauren and John stood as Kara wobbled into the hall.

James was quick to follow and she paused as he came to her side and whispered to her in a barely audible voice, “I know it’s a horrible occasion but, you’re beautiful.”

She turned to him, thrown by his words and how quickly he’d admitted it. “I can hardly walk in these.”

He looked her over and offered her his arm for support and there was a tiny bud of humor to it.

“That’s your solution?”

“I apologize for the heels.”

“Next time go for flats.” She gave him a small smile and turned away from him to find a sweater.

“Right. Next time,” he echoed.

She caught her balance as the comment threw her off and he brought his hand to her lower back to steady her. “Grandma, do you have a sweater I can borrow?”

As much as she wanted to pull away from him, she didn’t. The touch became a reassurance on her nerves.

“Yes, of course.” Lauren passed Kara an off-white cardigan. She took the vintage cashmere. “Thanks.” Slipping it on over her shoulders, she left the knit undone and walked out into the chilled morning air. If death could feel like the weather, that day it did.

“See you there then.” John closed his door while Lauren got in the passenger side.

The station wagon pulled away and James guided her along. “Come.” She nodded, moving toward the Audi with him as a shiver caught hold of her. He grabbed the passenger door well before she could and helped her sit. Normally, she would have protested the gesture, maybe even told him to never do it again but, for the time being, she liked it, wanted it… needed it, even.

Kara sat down in the car and brought her knees together to slide into the seat. Her hand let go of his and he shut the door softly. She reached for the seatbelt, punching it in beside her hip without a second thought. In the visor, she checked her face for obvious signs of distress and found it plastered all over her.

“Do you need anything?” He started the car up.

“Like?” she breathed.

“Water? Something to eat?” he suggested. “We can stop on the way—”

“I’m fine.”

“Let me know if you change your mind.”

With a sigh, she looked out the window and he pulled the car out onto the road, her hand reaching for his. Her fingers didn’t quite make it though, and he beat her to it, taking her hand in his.

She felt her tears and swelling emotion, the longer their silence continued and more obvious her emotions became. Bringing her fingers to his lips, he kissed them in comfort. It caused her to break and she began to cry, washing away her make up attempt.

He stayed quiet though, until they arrived. “Can you walk?”

“I-I….” she choked. “I don’t know and it’s not because of the heels.”

“I’ll come around and help you.”

She didn’t let go of his hand as he popped the door open. Leaning in, he kissed her cheek. “I won’t let you go. I promise, I’ll stay with you the entire time.” His hand broke from hers with a bit of force and he exited the car. Moments later he was there, helping her from the vehicle.

Stabilizing her weak knees, she saw the plotted out area halfway across the cemetery lawn and fell into his chest, sobbing.

“Kara…” He hushed her.

“I-I can’t do this.” Her blurry eyes caught the coffin raised above the grave. “I can’t go over there,” she admitted. “I can’t do it!”

He parted from her. “But you need to.”

She shook her head. “I don’t want to. I don’t want to say goodbye.”

“Even if you can’t say a word when you’re supposed to, just stand there. It’s going to mean a lot to you one day. Trust me.”

“You don’t understand”

He lowered his lips to her ear. “This I understand perfectly. I have since I was thirteen with my parents’ death. Nothing is harder than this but you need it. Don’t regret this moment by not saying goodbye.” The reference to his parents’ sudden death was enough to shake her from her nightmare fears of saying goodbye to her baby brother. It was the first time he’d brought them up and she was sure it would be the last too for that visit. She took the arm that he’d offered her and wrapped herself around him for support. They walked slowly across the dewy lawn, each step worse than the previous.

James sat her in a chair designated for family and crouched in front of her, still trying his best to comfort her as she shivered in the cold wind. Please, wake up, please! This is a fucking nightmare!

He stripped off his jacket, placing it over her shoulders and adjusting it around her frame. It should be me, not him. “Shh.” He brought his hands to her lap. She leaned forward and dropped her forehead against his, closing her eyes as tears streamed her cheeks. His breath caressed her face and calmed her crushing heart. The guilt of grappling her brother from a hell dimension, and not being able to save him while she had been would never settle her conscientiousness. It would never go away, it would never fade and she knew that.

“You’re alright,” James whispered to her. “I’m here.”

She brought her shaking hands up his chest and clutched the slick fabric along his shoulders.

“Kara!” Her mother came trudging toward her. “Where have you been?”

“Mom!” Kara stumbled to her feet and swung her arms around the w oman, but it wasn’t returned. The faint smell of booze was though, doused in a heavy coating of cheap floral perfume. It was like a flatline on a heart monitor. There was no chance at revival either, no matter how hard Kara hoped for a return of affection from her mother. “I was at grandma and grandpa’s.”

James had followed her in standing, though he’d kept his distance for the time being.

Carla peeled her daughter away. “You can’t run off all the time like that. It was a fight. Not the end of the fucking world.”

Kara’s tears went full-tilt. “ Mom… I… I’m sorry.”

“Kara, sit.” James suggested in vain when he joined them.

Her mother eyed him up and down. “I think you’ve said and done enough. This is between me and my daughter.”

“Is that right?” James stepped between them and took Kara’s wrist in the process.

Carla stared at him and started to smile. “You are all mortal, right? Because I don’t sense a lick of Hunter on you.” She stepped up to him in sprite. “Do you know what she is, it might change your tune"

“Mom.” Kara pulled herself out his grip to face her mother. “Leave him alone. He’s just trying to help.”

Her mother stared at her with fire and danger. “Men that look as good as him are liars, Kara. You remember that. They all lie, just like your father! Now look, Josh is dead and you’re a screw up.” She snapped and walked away in her leather knee-high boots and matching bad taste of a skirt. Nothing solidified Kara’s guilt like hearing how useless her mother thought she was. James turned to her as soon as Carla had marched off. “Don’t listen to her.”

“She didn’t mean that, about you begin a liar”

James stopped her. “She can think what she wants about me, I don’t care,” he snapped under his breath. “You’re the strongest, most selfless person I know.” He shook her shoulder. “Look at me.”

She forced her eyes to his. “James…”

He swallowed. “You mean so much to me. You meant so much to Josh. That makes you anything but what your drunk-of-a-mother just said. Do you understand me?” She nodded through her tears.

He let out a sigh. “Good. Let’s sit.” he took her hand as her gaze wandered to the minister she knew from Sunday school as a kid when she’d stayed overnight at Jessica’s those few times, he hadn’t saved her from her damnation. No one had or could, that was obvious. The balding, old man stepped up to the small podium set out in front of Josh’s coffin of rich mahogany. Something Kara still didn’t understand how her grandparents had afforded and she glanced at James. She vowed then and there, she would never ask him if he had helped make it happen.

“We are gathered here today to put to rest the young life of Joshua William Heart. Where he will remain in peace and be forever loved in the memories and hearts of his family, friends, and teachers. Josh was a caring and giving young ma n, who held his family dear to him. His mother, Carla, will speak first.”

Kara froze as her mother trotted to the podium, holding a white tissue in hand and slip of paper in the other. The entrance had been well-rehearsed and almost fooled her.

“Thank you all for coming. My son’s life was taken unexpectedly days ago. I still have not fully been able to come to the reality of it. He was a strong young boy who I loved very much.” Her pause for words was hardly the silence Josh deserved. “I don’t know what I will do without you, Joshua.”

The thought of ever seeing her brother again brought Kara to hard tears, buckling over her knees and sobbing was her only option. I want him back. I want him back… Please… give me him back, please!

“Kara.”

She pressed her mouth to James’ ear, choking on words. “I seriously can’t do this.”

Carla continued, “he turned out to be the best child I could have hoped for. He will always be my baby boy. I love you, Joshy.” She sauntered away from the podium, leaving the air ripe with an awkward sadness.

The minister spoke again. “And as we remember Josh in the beautiful ways he was a part of this world, we will ask his older sister, who I’m told was very close to him, to come say some words about his life.”

Kara’s stomach turned as she pulled herself to her feet, she could hardly believe she’d gotten that far. She felt the onset of vertigo and her knees almost gave out under her.

James’s arm slipped around her waist. “I’m here.”

She crushed into him for support as he led her to the podium. Her feet moved but she didn’t understand how she was even walking. The shivering came on again but this time it was purely emotion. Her vision blurred ten times over and her cheeks burned from the tears streaming.

She stopped at the wooden podium and turned out of his contact, gripping the object in front of her for dear life. The feeling of his hand on her lower back, however comforting, wasn’t enough. Her dry mouth made her unsure if could even speak but she would try.

“Hi. I’m Kara, Josh was—is—my younger brother.” She attempted to wipe the tears escaping her.

Oh god, I can’t do this.

Kara’s eyes became fixed on the people in front of her, his line of soccer team mates, the outdated coach, his elementary school teacher who had insisted he work on his math in every note sent home.

“I-I j-just want to say how much I love Josh and how much, as his sister, I can’t grasp what this life may be like without him.” She palmed her tears, smearing mascara all over the place. “I really don’t know who’s going to wake me up in the morning by yelling and running into my room.”

There was a small laugh across the gathering. Not enough to be a happy one though.

“I remember,” Kara said the next thing that came to mind, “when we were young, Josh must have been about six or seven. He was playing down by the river, I was being a normal sister and not really paying that much attention. Probably listening to my music a bit too loud. I heard him start to yell for me but I figured he was just being annoying.

When I finally looked up… and this river wasn’t small, it was quite large, faster moving and deep once you got off the banks. He was in the middle of it, balanced on a log, waving his hands at me with a big smile on his face.

I still have no idea how he did it but when I finally got him out of there, I asked him why he did it. He told me; It felt free, Kara. I want to feel that my whole life, I want you to feel that too.” She wiped up the tears streaming her face and continued on with her main point. “You’ll be free forever, Josh. I’ll love you forever. I’ll think of you often. I’ll remember our movie nights that involved mac’n cheese on top of pizza. It wasn’t that good, but he loved it.” Then she stopped, the words almost disappearing from her lips. “I love you, Josh, just… never forget me.”

James waited as she turned into him and pressed her face to his chest. A wave of relief washed over her, she didn’t know where it had come from but it was comforting. Feeling his confidence in her, she knew she’d done as well as possible.

She stepped away from the podium and walked to the casket, dropping a hand to the finished wood. I love you, Joshy.

“Forever,” she whispered as she looked up to the sky.

Lauren was standing to meet her once they had wandered back to theseats in full tears. “We love you, Kara.”

“I love you too.” Turning out of her grandmother ’s arms, James held out his hand to help her sit.

The minister started to speak, blessing Josh to a nicer place, a warmer one, one less of Demons, or so Kara wanted to believe. All she knew was that Demons were vermin, Lycans thought they were the ultimate evolution and hunters had to mediate it all. Heaven and hell seemed easy.

Heaven. Heaven. It better be real. Kara looked up to the bright blue autumn s ky. She thought of when they were little. Her memories seemed so clear. Vivid. She dropped her face to her knees again and cried for what seemed like hours but it was just minutes. Long, painful minutes.

James crouched down beside her. “Kara, it’s over.”

She lifted her blushed and hot cheeks away from her shaking hands.

“We-we need to leave?”

“Only if you want to.” James stood as her friend Jessica approached cautiously.

“Hey, Kara,” she whispered as she sat down next to her in an empty chair. “You okay?”

Kara didn’t bother to answer that.

“I’m really sorry…” Jessica stumbled over the words. “It’s not fair.”

She looked up to her friend. “You should leave this town the first chance you get and don’t look back.”

Jessica stared at her as James interrupted. “Your grandparents look to be leaving, Kara.” He took her shoulder as she stood and they walked with Jessica across the lawn.

“Grandma.”

Lauren turned to her for a hug. “Karrie, are you coming back with us?”

Kara gave James a glance. She’d never answered him earlier about his plans and he seemed desperate to see what she’d say now. “I’ll be home later.”

“Be careful.” Lauren hugged her.

Kara swallowed with a nod, but she wouldn’t be home . She was never going home . She was going to be Tom’s by the end of the day. Forever.

Unless she dropped dead right then and there.

Her grandmother broke from her and took her cheeks in her hands. “Stay safe, Kara.”

Kara winced. “I’ll be fine. I won’t be long.”

“The cards told me you have to make a choice today. Make the one that feels right.” Lauren parted from her and the expression on her grandmother’s face seemed to show more worry than what Kara knew what to do with. She couldn’t possibly know about her deal with Tom though. She hadn’t told a soul and she wiped away that small bit of panic.

Her grandmother opened the passenger door and got in the vehicle. Kara helped her and ducked her head in to say goodbye to her grandfather. “Don’t be out too late.” He gave her a taciturn nod and that was likely the most she would get. If she never saw him again, it would have to be a good enough goodbye.

Kara stepped back and shut the door, waving goodbye as the car pulled away. The cold wind froze her on the spot and she looked out across the cemetery with a brewing sadness. The soft noise of people chatting dulled her senses and knew she’d never see any of them ever again.

Jessica came to her side. “Kara, I better go, I’ll text you.”

She gave her friend a brief hug and they parted. The blonde turned squarely toward James. “Have a good trip home, Dray.”

James didn’t let Jessica’s snide win that day and he let the girl walk away with nothing more than a nod and thank you.

“Hello.”

Kara glanced up to a man as he approached from behind a newer model blue sedan. He had a large amount of facial hair and a neat ponytail. His facial features hide behind the dark pair of Ray Bans but he was vaguely familiar to her and it sent a shiver down her spine.

“Kara?” he asked quietly. “What happened?” His voice sounded even more familiar, throwing her off as she tried to place it but above that, she was stunned to be asked what had happened to her brother.

“W-w hat?”

Stepping in near to her, the man took her forearm in a hold and she stared beyond his sunglasses to the green tint of his eyes beneath. “You need to tell me what happened.”

She fought to get her arm back but his hold became relentless. “Let me go!”

“You don’t recognize me?” He brought her in close, removing his sunglasses. The pale green eyes and large scar across his brow to his upper cheek bore memories into her core. Ones from her childhood before it had been ruined. The man’s identity fled back to her and she tore her arm out of his hold.

“Get out of here!” She lunged at him but James caught her before she made contact. “How dare you come here and demand information about Josh! You deserve nothing!”

James held onto her, though it must have been increasingly difficult—he managed, until he didn’t. She swung out of his arms and into the man. Without any lagging from drugs, she was fast, her strength getting the better of the situation.

“I’m sorry, Kara, but I need to know,” the man protested, taking her by her wrists. “Things are going wrong. Hunters are dying everywhere. You’re lucky to be alive.”

“Screw you!” She wreathed in his face.

“This is serious. What Demons did it? I need to know.”

“Oh, now it’s serious?” Kara spat. “What about when we had no food? What about our shit mother ? What about when you left us!” She threw him into the side of his shining vehicle and the man stared up at her, waiting for her next move. “Your strength is impressive for a…” He looked her over with the fading of his sentence.

“I’m just getting started.” She went to remove her heeled shoes when James took her wrist and stopped her.

“That’s enough,” he mumbled in her ear. Their eyes fused and she snatched her wrist away. It had been enough to stop her from jabbing the heel in the man’s eye.

“Let me deal with my piece of shit father, please.”

“Not like this,” James said.

She glanced over her shoulder and noticed the eyes on her of the departing funeral guests. It got her back in check and James seemed satisfied with her more relaxed stance. He got to his feet from where Kara had thrown him, his eyes went to James though with a curiousness. “What’s your family name?”

James failed to speak and Kara couldn’t take it any longer. “You need to leave!” Her father, with a nod, said, “I see it was a mistake to come.” He walked away, getting into his vehicle and leaving. She watched the red lights on his brand new car disappear and fought the trickling anger within.

Her eyes caught movement in amongst the shrubbery across the cemetery. The silver eyes staring back washed away her anger to fear as the realization of what she’d done, the promises she’d made really sunk in. Tom’s me n, watching her and keeping an eye on her as he’d promised.

“I want to go.” She headed for the black rental car, just wanting a bit more of her freedom before it all ended. In her rush, she fell to the cement when her heels caught a crack in the cement. That made her crumble to tears and she broke, wholeheartedly to her knees as the blood trickled from beneath her nylons.

James was quick to take her into his arms and lift her off the ground. Her cheek fell to his shoulder and she cried. Ignoring the way her body hurt all over, not from the fall but the unfairness of everything all at once.

He put her down on the passenger seat of the car and took her calf, inspecting the bit of blood. “I think you’ve just scraped it”

“It was my father.”

Saying it aloud only brought on too many thoughts, like why he’d shown up after eleven years of nothing. Josh and her had not mattered up until one of them was dead. He’d been crazy to think she would have just delivered information to him on the Demons responsible. On the fight that she hadn’t won. On the hell dimension she’d failed to save her brother from. In her mind, he was about as trustworthy as a Demon. He would get nothing from her, ever.

“I gathered that,” James said in a low voice, his eyes moving to her knee. His thumb traced the edges of the w ound with his inspection. “I haven’t seen him since I was six years old. I hardly recognized him.”

“He didn’t deserve to be here. Let’s go, we’ll talk about it on the drive.”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Kara cupped her blubbering lips. “I want to forget this whole day for the rest of my life. Is that possible?”

He sighed and leaned into the car to kiss her forehead. It made her shut her eyes and she couldn’t help but grab his collar to keep him close.

His lips brushed her cheek with a kiss.

“Let’s go.” He took her hand from him and she kept her eyes shut as the door closed beside her. If this was how her last day of freedom would end, she wanted to turn herself into Tom right then and there.