In the Captivity of Temptation

31 Frankness

" Milana, what the hell? " he sounds angry.

" What the hell?! " I question him in the same tone, and my outrage bursts through. " YOU tell me, Polyansky!

" What exactly should I tell you, Milana? How did your blatant jealousy almost blow our cover? " He is still angry and doesn’t even see that he got things mixed up.

I step closer. Rage consumes me as I poke his steel chest with a sharp fingernail:

" If you had found a minute to inform me that your deputy is also your lover, I wouldn’t have looked so surprised, you think?

" Bianca and I are not lovers, " he retorts dryly.

" Not anymore, " I assert, although a worm of uncertainty still gnaws at my heart. " Just don’t tell me stories as if you weren’t. Just listening to her carefully and looking at the way she looks at you was enough.

" That’s in the past, " he stubbornly insists.

" Polyansky, " I can’t help the biting tone mixed with bitterness. " Tell me honestly. How long were you together?

" Milana, what does it matter? We are no longer together. It's been a long while.

" How long, Polyansky? Is it really that hard to answer? " I stand my ground. " After all, what about honesty? If you want to build a relationship, I only agree to one that is honest and open. Omissions never led anyone to any good..., " I add quietly and somewhat resignedly.

He falls silent. His jaws clenched tightly, and his eyebrows came together at the bridge of his nose. Then, I watch somewhat dazedly as he spells out clearly and softly:

" Eleven years.

It sounds like thunder out of a clear sky. I'm gasping for air. They were together for eleven years??

I see him freeze. Just standing and waiting for my reaction. As if waiting for a verdict. And I still hear bells pounding in my temples. I am bewildered.

" We have been separated for two years now, " he finally adds dryly. " And as you know, I’m in a different relationship now."

I am in such a mix of confusion and blunt anger that I blurt the next thing out without thinking. I just want to sting him. Painfully.

" Not so sure…

" About what? " he grates and steps closer to me, and I instinctively take a step back. I press against the wall. Polyansky, undisturbed, comes very close. But he does not touch. As if he sees the whole spectrum of my emotions, and does not want to press, so as not to break.

" Milana, look at me. "Warm fingers touch my chin and lift it up. Turquoise eyes, with some piercing expression, bore into mine. He sighs. " Eleven years is a long time, I won’t deny. But that relationship… It was toxic and difficult. We tore each other apart. Many times we came together and separated…

" And yet she still works for you, " I can’t hold back, I say bitterly, but I don't care. Better to clarify it all right away.

" Two years ago, we both decided that enough was enough with relationships, but we didn't break the friendly connection. And it would be strange to pretend after so many years that we don’t know each other. And firing Bianca just because we're no longer together would be low. Then I opened a new branch. Fate itself gave us a perfect way out. Since then, Bianca has been working here, and I have stayed in Kraków.

I chew over the newly heard information, while pressing questions beg to be released. I should bite my tongue, but oh well…

" And what, not even sex after the breakup? You do visit this branch from time to time…, " I press with an open look into turquoise eyes, my insides churning because I realize that I don’t want to know the answer anymore. It’s all too obvious. No doubt he slept with her. And probably every time he came here," Such friendship means..., " he doesn’t manage to answer, but he doesn't need to because I read the answer in his eyes.

" Milana…

" Bug off, Polyansky, " I angrily push him in the chest, but this rock doesn’t budge an inch.

" What do you want to hear? The truth? Here it is, " he growls, slamming his clenched fists into the wall on both sides of my shoulders. Breathing heavily. Angry. Wound up to the edge. " Yes, I still wanted her. Even after the breakup. And yes, every visit ended with us having wild sex. Is that what you wanted to hear?!

We drill each other with angry looks, but something else appears in his eyes. Fire is added there. No. A whole blaze. He wants me. I shake my head in denial.

" No. Don’t even think about it, " I press my fists against his firm chest.

" Already thought about it, " he grimaces, then adds seriously, " We’ve had nothing for more than half a year now. No sex, no communication. Only work-related. Last time I told her it was the last. Because it was time for both of us to move on. We were stuck in one place. Both her and me. Milana…, " he looks intently. " You wanted frankness. Well. It’s not always pleasant, I admit. But there’s another truth. There’s you and me, " his words make me close my eyes. " And you blow my mind. I think only of you. And I'm not planning to let you go just because you are jealous.

At the last statement, I opened my eyes wide. Reluctantly, I must admit, his words about him wanting me to spread like honey across my chest and fire up my heart, because my feelings resonate with his. But it just makes his cockiness all the more irritating.

" Polyansky, don’t you think the choice is still mine? " I hiss back.

" And you made it when you confirmed that you are in a relationship with me, " he grins cheekily, taking his strong arms from the wall, and now his hot hands are sliding up my waist.

" You didn’t even ask. You just concluded, " I stubbornly counter, but I feel myself gradually calming down. His embrace is like a balm to my soul.

" Didn’t ask, but you didn’t object, " he laughs, and the hot lips begin tracing a wet path, sliding down my cheek to the lips that actually crave his kiss. " Sweetheart, I need you so much, " he says hoarsely and, for a moment, looks into my eyes.

In the look, no trace of a joke. No. He is, as never before, serious. He really wants me to believe him. And somehow I do. Probably it shows in my eyes, because Andriy fervently presses into the tender lips, taking my breath away. Kisses passionately, hungrily. Brazenly breaks in with his tongue, ruthlessly operates it in my mouth, then sucks in the lower lip. From his caresses and pressure, I weaken, my knees buckle, and my heart beats rapidly. Finally, he pulls away from me and takes my flushed face in his broad palms:

" She is my past. I can't fix it, and probably wouldn't even if I could, because who I am now is thanks to everything I've experienced, including with Bianca, "it's bitter to listen to it right now, but I understand he's absolutely right, as I too have a sizable baggage of mistakes I made in the past. Yet without them, I wouldn't be who I am now, so… now I just need to accept and come to terms with it.

Nervously, I swallow and nod in agreement, then he continues: " But you... I want you to be my future, and I hope to become yours.

My eyes widen at his statement, and my skin breaks out in goosebumps.

" A serious statement, Polyansky, " I say softly, unbidden tears gathering in my eyes.

" I know, " he chuckles. " But I'm not in the habit of throwing around empty phrases.

I smile back and receive another batch of sweet kisses. Finally, I feel how he presses me tighter to him, and the broad hands slowly slide down my back, caressing. Damn, it feels so good in his embrace.

We could have stood like this for who knows how long, but the clicking sound of heels outside the door makes us break apart and stay at a distance, pretending that only work connects us.

Reluctantly, I move away and sit on the chair in front of his desk. Andriy manages only to turn to the window, casually slipping a hand into his pocket as if deep in thought. A short knock at the door sounds, and he allows them to enter.