radicalducati Chapter 124 If you don't love me enough to give your life for me, then don't come near me.
Chapter 124 If you don't love me enough to give your life for me, then don't come near me.
"I dare not approach you anymore, I don't want to have you anymore, and I'm even more afraid to accept you."
"I just want to live a good life, all I want is to live a good life and leave an heir for my family. Is that wrong?"
"I may never have love again in my life if I leave you, but I will live a good life, a brilliant life."
"And you, like me during those ten days, will also have to get through this difficult period."
"Once you get through this, you will be reborn like me and live a carefree and happy life."
"real."
"Lu Chenyuan, let go, let each other go, stop bothering me."
"Haven't I made myself clear enough? I fell in love with you, chased after you for a few days, and then let you go for more than ten days. In the past two weeks, I've lost half my life, do you know that?"
"It's half a life, not them, and not the kind of sadness you're imagining, the kind that's just a light touch."
I'm begging you.
"Please, I'm begging you..."
By the end, she was already sobbing uncontrollably. The past pains were brought up again, like a dull knife repeatedly cutting into her heart, making her body feel weak and swaying precariously.
Her body leaned forward instinctively, as if seeking support and wanting to get closer to his embrace.
Even if it's just temporarily lending him a shoulder, even if it's just for a second, that would be fine.
However, even in this extreme pain and vulnerability, she still maintained a last shred of consciousness.
She gripped her hand tightly, her sharp nails digging deep into her flesh. The piercing pain brought her back to her senses instantly, ruthlessly extinguishing that subconscious dependence in her heart.
"Please... let go."
The last two words, clearly uttered from her choked throat, mingled with the undried tears on her face, pierced his heart like a red-hot needle, cutting through all his pride and stubbornness.
Lu Chenyuan stood frozen in place, his heart churning with turbulent emotions.
He didn't know, he never knew any of this, he never knew. What he thought was just her momentary obsession, a trivial past event, was actually something she had gone through.
She actually degraded herself to this extent just to let him go.
Those cigarette burn scars on her arm felt like burns on his heart.
Each dish carried an irreparable guilt, each dish caused him excruciating pain.
And what was he doing during those days?
He was busy investigating cases, busy with work, busy with things that he considered more important than personal relationships.
She spoke of those times, those days when she was overwhelmed by pain and desperately tried to grasp at something, but he chose to run away.
He left Seoul and returned to Shanghai, leaving her alone in this heartbroken land.
Even after he made his feelings for her clear in Shanghai, he still didn't choose to come to her side immediately, embrace her, hug her tightly, and soothe her broken heart. He also didn't open his heart to her and tell her everything right away.
He was still busy with that murder case, busy with the last laughable hesitation in his heart, busy finding a seemingly reasonable excuse for himself, and hesitating to go to the scene.
If he had returned from Shanghai at that time, rushed to her immediately, explained everything to her, hugged her tightly, apologized to her, and told her he loved her, would everything have been different now?
She had already endured the most difficult days on her own, pulling herself out of hell. Could his current pursuit and his belated affection really win her back?
At this moment, Lu Chenyuan suddenly felt uncertain.
His eyes were filled with an unprecedented sense of hesitation and panic, and even his fingertips were trembling with cold.
Seeing the hesitation in his eyes, Su Wan smiled again, a smile as faint as a wisp of smoke, carrying endless weariness and relief.
She reached out and wiped away the tears from the corners of her eyes with her fingertips, then raised her hand and pushed him away hard.
She pushed him far away, to a distance she felt was safe, her voice soft yet carrying an undeniable resolve.
"So, Lu Chenyuan, from now on, can you stay away from me?"
"Stay away from me, okay?"
"I don't want you to hesitate again and abandon me again someday."
"By then, I'm afraid I won't be able to let it go so easily."
"I'm going to die, I'm going to die, you know that? I'm going to die."
"I would do anything, even die for love."
"If you're not wholeheartedly devoted, and you're merely driven by lust, or if you only have a tiny bit of liking for me—not enough to love me with your life—then please don't come near me, okay?"
"I can't bear the hurt of such shallow love, nor can I bear such... separation again."
With his family background and status, even a well-educated and sensible girl like Lin Man was not a good match for him.
Let alone her?
His family would definitely not agree to him marrying an orphan.
Marry someone like her, who has no parents, no family, no background, and no money.
She was even the one who was pointed at and gossiped about, said to have no self-respect, no shame, and to be the third party who broke up her son's relationship.
Su Wan gritted her teeth, her nails digging deep into her palms. At this moment, she was incredibly clear-headed, so clear-headed that it pained her to see herself like that.
She and Lu Chenyuan are not a good match!!!
This is really inappropriate!!!
From the very beginning, it was her reckless courage that led her to misplace her affections.
His former courage and passion have been completely worn down by his sobering awareness and extinguished by his indifference.
That intense joy is like a flower that has bloomed brilliantly, its petals withering away in the wind and rain, leaving only withered stamens, never to bloom again.
After saying all this, Su Wan didn't look at him again, turned around resolutely and left without any lingering feelings.
This time, Lu Chenyuan did not come along.
He simply stood there, like a frozen sculpture.
The dim light fell on him, making him appear lonely and desolate.
She thought, perhaps he had already given up.
Hearing what she said, even a dog would be moved.
We should also know how much pain she is in and how afraid she is of being hurt again.
Every word she said was the truth, without a trace of falsehood or exaggeration.
he loves her?
Ha, how ridiculous.
Could the love he speaks of be as deep as hers, to the point of risking his own life?
The reason he jumped at the farmhouse that day was simply because he chose to leave with Lin Man.
Seeing that intimate scene caused her immense pain, a pain that felt like she was dying.
It is undeniable that alcohol amplified her pain, which led her to jump into the river.
But even without the influence of alcohol, she would still make that decision.
When love reaches its extreme, and pain reaches its extreme, one no longer cares about life itself.
In this lifetime, it's enough to go crazy, make a fuss, give your all, and chase after someone like that once.
Who can watch fireworks every day in their life?
A spectacular life is only temporary; a peaceful life is the norm.
People need to be more realistic and live their lives properly; they can't always live in the fantasy of love.
At this moment, she sincerely hoped that these words could move Lu Chenyuan, make him let go completely, and spare her life.
Moreover, she knew her own personality too well; she was simply not suited to stay by Lu Chenyuan's side.
Because if she softens her heart, accepts him, and gets together with him, she will have an extremely strong possessiveness and hysterical jealousy. Those emotions may completely affect his life and his work.
Back then, before things even started, just during the pursuit phase, she wanted to be with him every day and see him all the time.
If the two of them were to actually get together, she would probably become even more demanding, wanting to cling to him every day, clinging to him, refusing to let go, and only wanting to be with him at all times.
She would demand that he love her absolutely, completely, beyond limits, and cherish her dearly.
She would hope that he was thinking of her every second, even when he was working or investigating a case.
She would demand that he spend time with her every day, even if it was just to say a few words; otherwise, she would get angry, sad, and overthink.
She couldn't be as rational as Lin Man, who could go for days without seeing him, and she couldn't refrain from disturbing his work.
She would go crazy, longing to hear his voice, smell his scent, and even kiss his lips and feel his warmth every moment.
His job was unusual, often keeping him busy and often leaving him with little control over his own life. Coupled with his naturally aloof personality, he simply couldn't provide her with the companionship and affection she desired.
Not suitable!
It's really not suitable!
It's fundamentally inappropriate!
When she was pursuing him, she was blinded by passion and love, and didn't consider these practical issues at all.
Even if she were to agree to his request now, it would definitely end in a breakup.
She could even imagine the two of them going from being extremely in love at the beginning to later speaking ill of each other due to too little time spent together and too many misunderstandings, eventually leading to a complete breakup.