radicalducati I Am Happy
I Am Happy
Lena gripped the doorknob in front of her. The last time she was here was five months ago—the day she got married to Darian.
Everything around was still the same. She felt nostalgic as her eyelids flickered through the balcony. Simpering, she let go of the knob and resorted to tinkling the bells beside the door.
After two attempts, the door opened to a petite girl whom she recognized to be the maid.
"Good day, ma'am." The young lady couldn't hide her excitement when she saw Lena standing by the door.
"Hey—" Lena racked her head for the girl's name. She knew it, but couldn't remember what it was at the moment.
"Kayla," she helped Lena out. "I guess you don't remember my name anymore. It's fine, we've only met once. Are you here to see your dad?" Kayla opened the door widely for Lena to enter the house. "He will be so happy to see you, he's always talking about you." She walked Lena to one of the couches and went inside to get her father.
Lena rested her back on the couch. Patiently waiting for her father to show up. She studied the whole house and noticed a few new things like the frayed couches have been replaced with new leathered ones, and the media set was now bigger and occupied more stuff than the old one.
The living room was more decent than she used to remember. She knew Darian did that, he had even offered to buy her father a house but Gavin didn't let him do that.
"Is she someone I want to see?" Gavin asked when they were in the living room. He had a blindfold on his eyes, Kayla grasped his hand and giggled like a child.
"Someone you've always talked about," Kayla responded.
"Is she Lena? Lena is the only one I want to see right now." Gavin said.
His words melted her heart, she rubbed her chest and signalled to Kayla to remove the blindfold. She did, Gavin turned around, his eyes meeting with his daughter's. He flinched when he saw Lena.
"Lena!" He yelled after trying to process and believe she was the one sitting on the couch. He had never thought she'd remember him again. He tried to hug her but she pulled back.
Kayla pursed her lips, not too pleased with Lena's reactions. She stood in front of her and asked. "What can I offer you?"
"You don't have to bother about that, I am good." Lena feigned a smile.
Kayla nodded her head andlooked at her boss. When she was sure he'd be fine with his daughter around, she left them alone.
"How have you been?" Lena asked her father when Kayla was gone.
"Not good, you didn't want to talk to me," Gavin muttered guiltily.
"I just didn't know what to say to you, Dad." She viciously stared into his eyes. "I came here to check on you and let you know that I have nothing against you. Lisa told me you called and you were all about the place, telling her that I don't want to talk to you."
"Lena, it's obvious you are still mad at me," Gavin said in a low voice. "When will you forgive me for the things that I did to you?"
"Dad, I forgave you a long time ago. I just needed my own space all this while and that's why I have not been talking to you." Lena told him.
They held each other's gazes for a split second. Lena saw the regrets in her father's eyes, she saw the pains those eyes housed and she felt so bad for blaming him all this while but it was his fault.
"Lena," the old man called. "When I lost your mother, you became the only one I had in the world. And your happiness became my priority, but I was foolish for letting friends mislead me, I was just living recklessly and didn't even think about you even when you meant everything to me." His voice cracked, she looked at him and saw his moist eyes. She detected upcoming tears but promised not to let those tears fall; she'd planned to hold him before the tears would spill.
She rose to her feet and waddled to where he was seated, "Do not cry, Dad."
"Maybe I have not been a responsible father, maybe if I was more responsible you wouldn't be in this mess with Dawson." The tears fell before she could stop them. "I am so sorry, Lena. Please forgive me for selling you out to him, I was helpless."
"Dad," Lena rubbed his back up and down. "It's fine, don't sob anymore. Sobbing is just going to make things harder, we are good." She kissed his hands. When Gavin had wiped his tears, she took his hands and asked, "How have you been, dad? Have you been taking your medications regularly?"
"Yes, your husband paid for my surgery, made sure I was treated very well, and even employed the maids to come work for me." Gavin smiled, heartily.
"I know about all that, I have been watching you from afar, Dad." She grinned. "Your maids, are they good?"
"Yes, they are. Kayla has been helpful and her partner is also great, Alyssa also comes to check on me every week," he said, Lena could glimpse the excitement in his gleaming eyes as he spoke to her.
She missed the good old days when she would be sprawled out in the living room, discussing life, games, and other interesting topics with her Father, she missed cooking for him, she missed everything so much right now.
"Alyssa is the nurse, right?"
"Yes, you should meet her one of these days. She's amazing." His lips stretched into a smile as he went on further about Alyssa.
He seemed to be having things going well for him and she was grateful for that. He sighed and took his daughter's hands.
"How is your marriage with Dawson?" He asked her.
Lena leaned back on the couch, her lips pursed, eyes falling to the sparklingly tiled floor.
She thought of everything right from the very first day her father begged her to marry Darian, when she moved in with him. His behaviour had been a mixture of sweet and harsh.
She heaved a sigh and stared back at her father. "Just the way it should be, you don't have to worry about anything, Dad. He's not all tough."
"I know him, I know him so well, Lena. I know he's heartless, I know that man." Gavin protested.
Lena wanted to say, 'You know him too well, you know he's heartless, yet you crossed his path and made your daughter pay for your mistakes?' But she swallowed hard and smiled a smile that reached her eyes. "There is more to him than what you know, Dad. We all have our good and bad sides. Maybe you only know his bad side." She said.
She was being truthful though. Darian could be hard but sometimes he was soft and he did things that melted her heart. She liked it best when he was soft and calm. His other side frightened her so much she wanted to leave, but still, she yearned to stay with him. No one was perfect and she was sure Darian was holding in too much, the reason he's always hot and cold.
"Are you happy with him?" Gavin asked again.
"Dad," she paused. "Sometimes we don't get all that we want and life doesn't go on as planned. I have never imagined getting married to someone like Darian, never in my life, but here I am, stuck with him. And I don't have a choice." She shuddered.
"He's treating you badly, isn't he?"
"I never said so, Dad. And like I said before, you should stop judging people with the little you know about them. Darian is more than what you know about him, he's much more than a cold, heartless mafia boss. He's human, a human just like us. And sometimes, some things we do make people see us in a different light. I am fine with being his wife, and I think that should be enough for you to know." Lena said.
She had never really admitted to anyone that she was fine being Darian's wife. She had told Darian that she would divorce him, and she even lied to her best friend that she was saving up to pay him back and then divorce him.
She had considered leaving Darian when Amy talked about not knowing him enough. But the truth was that she couldn't bring herself to live without being a part of Darian's life.
She didn't want to imagine how her life would be if she lived without him. Although Darian was an ass sometimes, she still wanted to stay with him.
Living with him felt like an adventure, they got to explore every new level together, gradually and slowly. She wasn't in a rush, she was now determined to wait, and be with him until he let her in.
She would wait for as long as he was going to make her wait. She saw rays of hope lined up in the future. If not anything, she knew that Darian cared about her, she'd seen it in his eyes when he kissed her that night and she was willing to start with that until it turned into something more.
"I want you to be happy, Lena. My last promise to your mother before she died was to make you happy, always happy." Gavin took his daughter's hand in his, gently rocking her fingers, he looked into her eyes.
"I am happy, Dad," Lena said, nodding her head in affirmation. "I am happy." She repeated.