On The Border - Marry Him Or Die

2.48

Angelina’s POV

I’m staring at Lucas with so much confusion and overwhelming emotions.

What the hell just happened?

Did he just kiss me?

Why in the hell would he do that?

And why is he trying to convince me to stay?

I thought he would be glad that he doesn’t have to look at me for much longer.

That kiss….. If you can even call it that, awakened parts of me that I never felt before. Parts that were throbbing with….need to do that again, to press his lips against mine again and taste that kiss even more deeply.

Is this what kissing feels like? Does it wreak havoc on the body like that? Or was that Lucas’s effect?

“Why did you do that?” I asked slowly, trying to get out of my daze and focus.

“Because I was wondering what kissing an angel would taste like” he said smoothly.

Again with the angel metaphor and nickname. But somehow, it didn’t hurt a lot like it used to when he first used it a few hours ago.

Somehow, the feelings of sadness and self hate lessened the more he insisted on calling me that, especially when he uses that tone. The tone than truly makes me feel like an angel in his eyes.

“What… did it feel like?” I asked hesitantly, probably because he pulled away from the kiss straight away without lingering, which kind of told me that he didn’t feel a thing and that’s why he pulled away quickly; yeah I was self doubting, it has everything to do with me being inexperienced at all and him being a master at all things sexual. I had no doubt that he was. Men always were. Especially men like him, always driven with adrenaline and always looking for a place to channel all those…hormones.

“Exactly what I imagine heaven would taste like. I only pulled away because I didn’t want to get hit in the balls if you think I overstepped. But if it was left to me, I would savor that heavenly taste for hours. Since I’m probably never going to heaven when I die, might as well taste it before I go to hell, right?” he said gently.

Those parts throbbed again inside me at his captivating words. I never would have thought Lucas would ever speak to me that way. Only last night, he was threatening to hurt me for lying to him for God’s sake. How does a person change so drastically so fucking fast?

He didn’t pull away because he thought kissing me was a mistake, he stopped for me.

It gave me the courage to say the next words “kiss me again, I won’t hit you”

He smiled at me broadly and said proudly “It was better than all your other kisses, I’ll bet. That’s why you want another?”

I cast my eyes down in embarrassment and cursed myself for asking him for another kiss.

It was all just a game to him. But it wasn’t to me. Kissing him opened up a door that I didn’t even know existed inside me, and I can’t seem to find the freaking key to lock it back up again.

I start to turn away from him and go hide in my room, but before I took two steps, his hands held my shoulders and turned me back around to face him, his face was only inches from mine, all humor gone.

He was looking deeply into my eyes, analyzing. His hands cupped my face very delicately. They were very warm, despite the harsh cold. They made me feel instantly hot and weirdly safe, even though that is not the usual feeling that Lucas makes me feel whenever we were alone. But this time, it was different somehow.

“You’ve never been kissed before” he said in an amazed tone.

He wasn’t asking, he wasn’t speculating, he was sure.

I couldn’t say a word. It was hard for me to admit that. It made me feel like a freak.

Instead, I looked away from his searching eyes, while keeping my mouth shut.

“You have no idea how fucking joyful I feel that I am the only one who got to kiss you, Angel. The only one who got to taste you. You just ignited a fire inside me with your unsaid admission. Do you want to know what a real kiss would feel and taste like? Close your eyes” he said softly.

My eyes came back to look at him and I saw raw desire in them. It should have scared me, it should have made me push him away, but I didn’t.

Instead, I found myself complying to him.

I closed my eyes and waited.

And then I felt them again, those soft lips.

He claimed my mouth more deeply this time.

He was going slow, licking, kissing, and tasting my lips so sensually, I felt tingles go all the way to my center.

His fingers on my cheeks were spreading fire to my skin.

His mouth was shattering me and drowning me in a pleasure I never experienced before.

That kiss….. That kiss was everything I imagined it to be and much more.

I thought kissing was a little overrated. That it wasn’t really that magical as they describe it in books and show it in movies. But I was so wrong. And I didn’t know if I should be happy or sad about that. Because the kiss ended. And I found myself dying for another taste already.

I opened my eyes and saw the same desire in his eyes but even more clear now, more raw.

Damn! He just made me a fucking addict! My lips were tingling to have just another kiss!

I looked down at his shiny, full lips and gulped.

I should have never opened that door on myself.

This was a huge mistake. What the hell has gotten into me? How could I let him kiss me and make me feel all those things that I will probably never feel again? I was regretful because now I’ll have those feelings inside me, and I have no idea how to end them, how to make them go away and disappear.

“How did that feel?” he asked huskily.

I searched my brain for the right words to describe what he just did to me, but I couldn’t find them. Whatever I say will not be enough to convey how freaking great the kiss made me feel.

“Better than my imagination” I said in a low voice.

I looked into his eyes as I said those words and saw how delighted he was to hear me say them.

Awkward silence stretched between us as we kept looking at each other’s eyes. Fighting our own urges to go for another one.

“Will you consider staying, Angelina?” he eventually asked in a hopeful tone.

I cast my eyes down, avoiding that hopeful look in his eyes. I didn’t want to push him away, but I had to. For a lot of reasons.

For me, for him, for his family.

I meant it when I said that I would rather leave them behind, never showing my face to them again, if that is what it takes to keep them all safe from my danger.

Lucas was dangerous himself. He has that pull that attracts trouble already, and I wasn’t about to get sucked into it or drive him to put himself in even more danger just for me.

I would rather hurt us both right now, emotionally if there was anything there to begin with, than hurt us both physically if my problems catch up to them.

“It’s better if I leave Lucas. I’m trusting you to call that guy and make him prepare that ID as fast as he can. Good night” I said hurriedly before I turned around and sprinted back towards the house, leaving him behind, too stunned to probably stop me again.