radicalducati 2.47
2.47
Lucas’s POV
Every time she mentions leaving, my heart constricts on its own and I don’t fucking know why.
I don’t want her to leave.
It was an admission that scared the shit out of me.
It was dangerous. The feelings that I have started to develop for her. This growing obsession and constant fascination with her was like an infection. It was spreading instead of fading.
Can only two days with her make me develop those impossible feelings for her?
If I didn’t have a front raw seat to Alex and Jenny’s impossible love story, I wouldn’t believe it. But I did.
She was affecting me in ways, no girl has ever done that to me before.
Two freaking days! How the hell did I catch feelings for her this fast?
Actually, if I’m being honest with myself, it only took that first look, and I was hooked.
But if I opened my mouth to let her know how I’m feeling, she won’t wait for a fake ID, she’ll go running away right this second without looking back.
She doesn’t see me the way I do her. It was clear as day.
I didn’t know which hurt more, that I couldn’t ask her to stay without giving her a valid reason, or that she doesn’t seem to think that I’m capable of loving her or that I’m worth loving in the first place.
“Is it really so bad? Living here with us? You can have everything here, your real identity, your dreams, your ambitions, a family, a home. Why are you adamant on living the rest of your life alone?” I asked intensely.
“I don’t belong here” she said vulnerably and I could see a sheen of tears spring to her eyes that she blinked away quickly to hide them from me, too late though.
“Everyone told you that you do. You don’t believe them? You think they’re lying to you?” I demanded.
She shook her head but didn’t say anything else as she looked at the ground and focused her eyes there.
Very slowly; because I know deep down I still strike fear in her very soul, My fingers gently lifted her chin up to urge her magical blue eyes to gaze back at me again.
She didn’t flinch but she kept her eyes closed, stubborn Angel.
“Look at me” I whispered softly as I brought my face closer to her.
She gulped visibly then complied, meeting my gaze with a fierceness that made my dick twitch all of a sudden.
“Why won’t you stay with… us?” I asked tenderly. I almost slipped up and said ‘with me’ but I corrected myself at the last moment.
“Because I’m no good for you, Lucas. I’ll only bring more troubles. More deaths. More pain” she said intensely.
She carried on frantically “And even if your plan works out and you wipe them all away, even if it’s safe to stay here without endangering all of you, there will always be that unbearable guilt I will feel that because of me, you’re three people short for the rest of your lives. The guilt will always be with me, whether I stay or leave, but at least when I’m gone, it might lessen a bit. They were the closest people to your heart, whenever you look at me, you will feel that loss, you will hate me more for it. And I can’t live here knowing that you do”
“I don’t hate you! I don’t even blame you, Angel!” I said intensely.
She closed her eyes in pain again when I called her short name.
“Please… Lucas…. Don’t call me that… I’m no..” she started to say shakily but I cut her off in a hard tone “But you are! I’m not calling you that to get under your skin. I’m calling you that because I mean it! If you stay here….. Our lives will be a lot more better than it used to be before you”
She opened her eyes finally and looked at me in immense confusion.
“But you… said it’s all my fault! You blamed me Lucas! Just this morning in this same spot you said…”
“I was being a dick! I apologized to you, didn’t I?” I argued.
“We both know that lame ass apology was just for your mom’s sake” she said bitterly.
“You call that whole deep speech lame? It was fucking genuine, because I meant every word! Why is it so hard to believe that I’m capable of admitting when I make a mistake?” I asked incredulously.
“You….meant it? You don’t really hate me?” she asked in a shocked, slightly hopeful tone.
“No part of me hates you, Angel. Don’t drown yourself with guilt that isn’t yours to feel in the first place. None of what happened to us was any fault of yours, none of it. You staying here might even help mom get over the absence of the others” I said gently.
Truth was, I should have told her the truth so that her unnecessary guilt can be erased for good, but I didn’t.
I should have told her that Alex and Jenny were still alive. That we were lying to everyone in order to protect them, but I didn’t.
I will tell her everything after Zade is dead. Only three more days.
She shook her head in confusion “What if his men never stop hunting for me? I don’t even know why he wanted me in the first place! He can’t possibly kill my mom and then expect me to become his loyal daughter! And for the life of me, I don’t even know why he agreed to make the trade with you, giving up his life for me! It doesn’t make any sense! Why would he sacrifice himself for me?” she said hysterically.
“Because as evil as he is, you’re still his daughter in the end. I wasn’t surprised at all that he agreed to do the trade, no one who has an angel like you can allow anyone to hurt her or lay a finger on her” I said softly.
She looked at me with furrowed eyebrows while her teeth bit into her lower lip absently.
With my fingers that were still holding her chin in place, I let go of it and tenderly released her trapped lip before she drew blood with how hard she was biting into it.
I felt her slightly shudder as my finger grazed her lip and she looked at me in puzzlement. Completely clueless and oblivious to how fucking much she affects me. On every level.
“I won’t let any harm come to you. I will protect you and keep you safe” I vowed to her as I looked deeply into her eyes “Stay, Angel”
“I can take care of myself” she whispered slowly as her eyes traveled to my own lips and back to my eyes, like she too was starting to imagine what it would feel like if our lips touched.
“I know you can, but you don’t have to here. You can live normally without looking constantly over your shoulders” I said softly as I felt my face getting closer to hers, like a magnet was drawing me to her.
I released my finger from her lip and brought my lips slowly over hers.
I was moving extra slow, making my intention clear, giving her time to back away; as disappointing as it would make me feel if she did, but I wanted to give her a choice to stop me if she wanted to.
My lips barely grazed hers and stayed there, unmoving, but that slight touch went straight into my dick, bringing it to life and thickening it in a heartbeat.
Her lips were so soft against mine.
With visible effort, I backed away before I could give her the proper deep kiss I was dying to make her feel, but I didn’t want to overwhelm her.
I also didn’t want to get a knee in my groin, especially now that it was fully erect, the impact might probably kill me right there.
“Think about it, Angel” I whispered with a small smile on my lips.
She was in a state of shock, looking at me with her mouth still slightly open from our soft, delicate kiss.
God she tasted like heaven, and it wasn’t even close to the kiss I had in mind.