radicalducati 2.46
2.46
Angelina’s POV
I can see clearly that my question caught him off guard, and for the life of me, I didn’t know why it did. He wasn’t really expecting me to stay here forever right?
It took him a while to answer but eventually he did, reluctantly “I can provide it for you”
“How long will it take?” I asked in a small voice.
“I don’t know I’ll have to talk to the guy and see how busy he is” he said firmly.
Diana put her hand on my shoulder and I turned my head to look at her.
She was looking at me with sadness “You still want to leave Snow?”
Her sadness overwhelmed me, she was really affected that I wanted to leave here.
“I can’t stay here, Diana. I had a life before all this happened, I had dreams, I had ambitions for myself that I need to chase. I just made it into my second year of fashion design through a fully paid scholarship by my mom’s employer, promising them that I will work for them once I graduate. And now that’s all gone. The freshman year I spent is gone, the scholarship is gone, and the future job is gone. I’ll have to start all over again with another alias and I can’t even pick up where I left off. I lost mom forever, but I can’t lose those dreams too, because they were hers as much as they were mine” I said vulnerably.
Her eyes softened at that and she said emotionally “You can still enroll in Fairbanks online and you don’t have to start over, you can use your real name. You can transfer from your school to the new one and continue where you left off. You don’t have to worry about the tuition fess either. As long as you’re here, no one can get to you”
What she was offering was really tempting. So damn tempting. A loving family, a home, a future, and more importantly, safety. Safety I can never feel on my own ever again.
I smiled at her and squeezed her hand as I spoke the words with extreme difficulty “I really appreciate all of that Diana, I truly do. But I can’t accept it. I brought enough problems to you. I’m not going to….”
She cut me off fiercely “Don’t say that again! You didn’t bring anything, Angelina. Please consider staying with us. I can’t bear the thought of someone else leaving again” her tone became emotional near the end and her eyes watered.
Her words caused a slash of pain to pass through me and I couldn’t help myself as I hugged her tightly.
That’s exactly why I can’t stay here. Because I’m always going to be reminded of the people they lost because of that man. The one I’m related to forcefully.
And also because I can never forgive myself if something else happened to them because Zade’s men might try to come for me again.
I wasn’t all too sure about Lucas’s plan, but I doubt he’ll be able to eliminate every single threat connected back to Zade.
There will always be someone left that’s loyal to the bone to him and will either try to seek revenge or come looking for me.
“I’m so sorry Diana, the last thing I want is to hurt you. But it’s better this way, for us all” I said gravely after I broke the hug.
Her face fell and that nearly broke my heart. She nodded eventually and squeezed my hand back “I won’t pressure you anymore dear. But just keep this in your mind, you will always have a place in this house that you can call home. And you will always have a mother called Diana who loves you with all her heart”
“I love you too, Diana. I’ll never forget that as long as I live” I said sincerely.
The conversation pretty much died after that as no one had anything to add or was able to find another topic that would change the mood. So we started gathering the empty plates and took them to the sink, while Sara started washing them. Each of us went to their own rooms for the night after that.
I tossed and turned for almost two hours, but sleep wouldn’t come. Even though I felt dead tired, but I couldn’t fall asleep. My mind was on overdrive, running through the events of today.
I was also anxious about what’s coming in three days.
Will it really be over? Or will it be the start of another nightmare?
I also tried to think about how the hell I’m going to get by on my own without anything to start with.
Where will I live? How will I get by? How the hell am I going to enroll myself in school without any papers or even money to afford tuition?
I guess I’ll have to dazzle another clothing company with my designs and get the scholarship from them just like I did in Seattle.
I can do this. I will do this. For mom.
I got anxious and suffocated of being in the same room for a while and decided to get some fresh air outside. Maybe sleep will decide to come then.
I wrapped a thick jacket around myself and headed for the sliding back door in the kitchen. I didn’t want to use the front door and get locked out if the door closed behind me by mistake.
I reached the kitchen and was surprised when I found the door open already.
Did they forget to close it?
I stepped outside and smelled it at once.
Cigarettes.
I turned my head to the right and saw Lucas leaning against the wall with a lit cigarette between his fingers, an ashtray held in the other hand.
“Trouble sleeping?” he asked with his signature smirk.
“Yeah, kind of….you too?” I said quietly.
“Nah, I always sleep late. It’s a usual routine for me” he said casually before bringing the cigarette to his lips and smoking it.
“Smoking kills you know” I said firmly as I moved to the pillar opposite from him and leaned against it.
“What doesn’t?” he said sarcastically.
“You never smoke when your family’s around” I said observingly.
“Cause they don’t know” he said before taking another drag of it.
“And if they do, they won’t approve I presume, hence the late night smoking, right?” I guessed.
“Correct” he said with a nod.
“Did you call your ID guy?” I asked curiously.
He asked with a raised eyebrow “So eager to leave here I see”
“I need to sort my things out before the start of the semester, I don’t want to waste more time” I said determinedly.
“I’ll call him first thing tomorrow and tell you what he says” he said casually.
“Thanks” I said in a small voice, then moved further to the middle of the front yard, leaving him behind and standing on the snow, gazing up at the full moon.
I took a deep breath and blew it slowly, it came out smoky-like from the freezing cold, kind of like I was smoking myself. I always loved that illusion, it was fascinating to me.
I kept doing it for a few more seconds, before Lucas stood in front of me all of a sudden, his expression soft.
“Not up for a conversation?” he asked gently.
I shrugged “I didn’t want to interrupt your alone time, plus the smell of cigarettes is unpleasant to me”
“I was glad for the interruption actually”
“Didn’t look like it last night when you saw me in the kitchen” I countered.
“What did it look like then?” he asked curiously.
“It looked like you wanted me to disappear in a puff of smoke like your cigarettes” I said challengingly, daring him to deny it.
He just chuckled softly and gazed at me intently.
“Thankfully, your wish will be granted soon. I’ll leave your house and you will never see or hear from me ever again” I said simply.
His playfulness disappeared at once and got replaced with a seriousness that confused me.