radicalducati 47
47
Alex’s POV
She feels…. Protected? With me?
Somehow that word stirred weird bizarre feelings within me.
It was a genuine admission of trust and faith in me that I didn’t take lightly at all, especially coming from her.
After everything I’ve put her through and made her feel, and she still manages to find it in her not only to forgive my rudeness earlier but to admit to feeling safe with me as well.
This girl is truly one of a kind. A unique and utterly shocking person that always keeps me astonished.
I never felt that way around Melanie. With her, everything was predictable and certain. I knew how she thought and how she felt all the time. But with Jenny, there was nothing certain about her at all. She always surprises me with her words and actions, and I find that suspense and unpredictability so intriguing and alluring.
“Ok I take it back! I don’t feel protected with you! You’ve been staring at me for like the past two minutes without paying attention to the road!” she snapped at me.
She was over reacting, it couldn’t have been two whole minute…. Could it?
I snatch my gaze away from her face, forcibly, and focus on the road.
I didn’t miss the clear distinction and category she put herself in when she clarified that she felt protected as a part of the town people. Not someone important to me on a personal level.
Why the hell was she pushing me away so adamantly after beginning to let me in?
If that kiss never happened between us, I’d say she felt nothing for me, not even a spark of interest and her ignorance towards me would have been acceptable and totally respected. But that kiss is what made me sure that she was indeed feeling something.
As much as I wanted to keep the conversation going because I could never get enough of listening to what she always has to say, she was right.
I can’t focus on driving enough when talking to her.
Her magnetizing green eyes were a constant distraction. Her lips were enticing. Her cute two dimples and red flushed cheeks were mesmerizing. Who was I kidding? all of her was equally alluring and distracting.
“I won’t look again, I promise” I said solemnly as I kept my eyes on the road.
“I’d appreciate that. No more talking until we reach Fairbanks” she said determinedly.
“It’s a two hour drive. What are we supposed to do to pass the time?” I asked in complaint.
“Well, you can turn on the radio to keep you alert” she suggested.
“And you?” I asked curiously.
“I’ll take a short nap” she said teasingly.
“Oh no, it’s not fair. We sleep together and stay awake together, those are one of the rules of this trip” I contradicted.
I felt her raise her eyebrows at me, but I couldn’t look to confirm. I was determined to keep my eyes on the road, as hard as it was.
“There are rules?” she asked cautiously.
Well, not really. But now there are I guess.
“A few” I said mysteriously.
“And they are?” she inquired.
I came up with one on the spot.
“We share the same room at the hotel, same bed. Just like in my room”
“And why is that?” she sounded upset.
Seriously, why?
Because I sleep better next to her than I used to sleep before. For some unknown reason.
Telling her this would freak her out. But I wasn’t going to break my own second rule that I haven’t told her about yet.
“First because we’re publicly married, so it doesn’t make sense if we take separate rooms. Second……. I got used to sleeping next to you over the days. If we sleep apart, I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep at all”
“That’s not my problem. I think I can sleep just fine alone” she said determinedly.
I suppress my groan at her always having to make things more difficult.
“Rules are meant to be followed” I remind her.
“Some are meant to be broken” she counters right away.
I purse my lips and speak more softly “What’s the point of having rules if they’re going to be broken instead of followed?”
She doesn’t answer for a while as she thinks about her answer.
“Fine, but we put a pillow between us” she warned firmly.
Well, I wasn’t expecting her to agree so easily.
I mask my surprise and say “We can do that”
“anymore rules I should know about?”
“The most important one” I speak seriously.
She waits for me to continue.
“Complete honesty and transparency”
I follow up the rule so she doesn’t have any loopholes to escape from.
“To all questions we ask each other. We will answer them all with complete honesty without refusing to answer a single one”
She looks at me sharply.
“What are you getting at exactly?”
“I’m not getting at anything. I just dislike dishonesty and dislike not getting an answer to my questions” I said firmly.
“You can’t make me answer if I don’t want to and you can’t make me tell the truth you want to hear either. Just because it was an answer you didn’t like hearing, doesn’t mean it’s not the truth” she snapped.
We both knew exactly what this was about.
“You have to answer because these are the rules and we will both follow them not just you. As for giving me the answer I want to hear instead of the truth, you’re totally wrong. You and I both know you were lying last night. What I don’t know though, is why you had to lie and hide the real answer from me” I said tightly.
She huffed in frustration.
“And why do you get to make all the rules?” she asked in agitation.
I start counting with my fingers very comfortably “I’m older, I’m the one who suggested the trip in the first place, I’m the one who called dibs on the rules before you, I’m the one in the driver’s seat which means I get to call the shots, I’m the one who knows Fairbanks and without me you’ll be lost, I’m…..”
“Ok, I get it” she said in annoyance.
I tried to make her feel better by saying softly “I told you I have to follow my own rules too, not just you”
“A lot of good that will do” she mumbled under her breath.
I stifle my chuckle so I don’t ruin her mood even more.
“Please tell me you had Sara put my phone?” she asked with an overdramatic dread on her face.
I smiled automatically as I said in a firm voice “Oh another rule, no phones during the trip”
“Ok, you can turn back now and drop me off. I can’t survive this without my phone Alex!” she said in a loud voice.
“Survive what?” I asked in a puzzled expression.
She bit her lip and stayed quiet.
“You’re kidding right? You have my phone? Pleaseee tell me you have it!” she complained.
I laugh under my breath at her theatrics over a phone.
“I knew you were attached to your phone, but I didn’t know until now how much you can’t live without it”
She glared at me angrily for making fun of her huge dilemma.
The phone is a distraction to her. A way to avoid talking to me or interacting with me, which is exactly why she felt like she was dying without it.
She was hell bent on putting up a wall between us that I was hell bent on destroying and never letting it be built in the first place.